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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > Big problem... heeelp!!
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whiskers
old skool



Registered: Sep 2001
Location: in your dreams

quote:
Originally posted by Dj_Activated





HEY! at's Mimi Bobeck, in't it? won'tya go postin' picters of me lova on dese phorums, mun, it ain't no good, y'nderstand?


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Old Post Aug-05-2002 16:46  Ukraine
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whiskers
old skool



Registered: Sep 2001
Location: in your dreams

quote:
Originally posted by junis
I even get a little jalous when she's flirting with other guy's.. Strange huh?


that's absolutely normal and it's present in like 99.9% of all ex-relationships. it's like they always say, "after we broke up i feel that she/he must not date and should be unhappy, desperate, and lonely"


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Old Post Aug-05-2002 16:49  Ukraine
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Arya
tranceaddict



Registered: Feb 2002
Location: Boston area, MA

quote:
Originally posted by Endre


screw the feelings mate, its puzzy, wtf are you talkin about feelings and shit? cut the crap and fukk her more.



If that isn't the most chauvinistic thing I've heard I dont know what is

Old Post Aug-05-2002 16:56  United States
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Renegade
____________/



Registered: May 2001
Location: Prague, Czech Republic

It seems like this girl is a bit messed up emotionally (from what you said about her and her past) and that she's using sex as an emotional crutch (i.e. using it to fill an emotional void).

The best advice I can give, is to make it perfectly clear that you are there for her, but that you no longer want to have sex with her (even if you do still want to have sex with her). So long as you continue to have sex with her, she'll continue to use it to fill her emotional void, which means she'll just continue to avoid the real problems that she is trying to escape. She doesn't need physical love, so far as I can tell, she needs Platonic, non-sexual love and support. And, if you care an ounce for this girl, this is what you'll give her.

Of course having never met either of you, this could be way off so I deny any responsibility if this plan backfires at all.

Old Post Aug-05-2002 17:02  Australia
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Spyder
Anti BS Alliance



Registered: Feb 2002
Location: Toronto CDN
King

quote:
Originally posted by junis


This is the kind of advice I needed! Thanks Julie!

I think it shouldn't be a problem when I don't love this girl anymore... But I still got feelings for her, that's what makes it difficult!

I even get a little jalous when she's flirting with other guy's.. Strange huh?


No it's not strange at all... it took me about 3 months to get over my ex... i got over him when he acted like a jerk to me.. (thoe i deserved it in a sense) when we saw each other for the first time in 6 months.. (we broke up on the net)

if you do have feelings for her.. why did you brake up.. with her..
i know braking up is a common thing to doo so in fact you should take time off for your self and get away from her to stop the feelings you have for her.. beacuse other wise you wont.. get over her..

and in my opinon you need to get over her and move on..
if you do not want to get over her.. then go back out with her.. so that when you do have sex with her you will not feel any regrets or you wont feel bad..
the choies is totaly up to you.. on what you want to doo with your life..

you did take one step.. you should now make the next one..


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Good Girls go to Heaven, Naughty Girls go to London


Originally posted by jennypie
Because you're a filthy WHORE!

Old Post Aug-05-2002 17:07 
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innominate
tranceaddict



Registered: Nov 2001
Location: uhh ohhhh, oh dear

if you want to stay friends with her (and not feel bad about her and other boys or have memories of her interfere with you and other girls) then you have to re-establish your boundaries which generally means a separation period... where you dont have sex.

this gives you time to become accustomed to the concept of how things will be different. it might take weeks or could be monthes.

do not think that you can solve her problems for her. many ppls lives are shit. and many are shitter. but you can only help by being a friend. someone constant and steady with advice. ready to accept the person for who they are. being supportive even if they make the wrong choice (which might mean not what you suggest). you are not resposible for her or her choices. you can however allow her to better accept herself by accepting her for who she is. with this she will gain self confidence.

self confidence cannot be argued into anyone. you cannot get it overnight. it comes only with time. there are that many people who never have the right environment to be happy wiht themselves... like when others are always unhappy about them. so be happy for her and support her choices. if you can offer advice do so but be prepared for rejection (of advice) because that is what will be necessary to be a friend.

blah. hope i have a useful thought here for you. atb, jc


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Old Post Aug-05-2002 17:32  Australia
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junis
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Den Haag, Netherlands

Well,

I still got feelings for her yes, but I know when I continue being her boyfriend it will all end up like when it was when I broke up...! The point is that we are not at the same level mentally (Quite normal I think when the age difference is 5 years!)

I remember that we where having this BIG fight,

I was at her place till late in the evening, I decided to go home because I had to get up early (I'm sure that when I was sleeping at her place, I wouldn't sleep at all!)

So she said "okay, but i'll walk with you to the bus" Ofcourse this was no problem for me at all, but when she said that she was going with me on that bus, and go back when i had to take the next bus, I knew she was upto something. I should know that when she took the bus with me, that she couldn't take the bus back to her place because at that hour there aren't driving any busses back nomore!!!! I did not think about that at that point... stupid, because it was clear that it was just a trick to sleep at my place!!!!

I reaaaaly got very upset when I found out that there where no busses left for her to get home... She kept telling me that she didn't knew, but ofcourse she knew!!!!!
At that point I told her ( In my anger) that she had bad luck and that she had to walk home.. But she reply'd "oh, so you want me dead?"

Well, that did it for me!!! I smashed some money on the ground for her to take a cab, and I left.
(I hope you understand this very bad english of me!!)

Now I knew that it wouldn't work out for both of us.. That is just something you don't have to try out on me!!!

She's just still a child at some points.. I'll have a good talk to her this very evening!!

I will let you guys know how the conversation went!!!

THANKS!!

Old Post Aug-05-2002 18:11  Netherlands
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Spyder
Anti BS Alliance



Registered: Feb 2002
Location: Toronto CDN
Idea

thers is one thing i still do not understnad..

if she got RAped.. why is she after the sex..

last person i knew that got raped.. was too afraid to come NEAR a guy for a long time..


___________________
Addicted to UKTA MySpace
Good Girls go to Heaven, Naughty Girls go to London


Originally posted by jennypie
Because you're a filthy WHORE!

Old Post Aug-05-2002 18:20 
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KilldaDJ
birth.school.trance.death



Registered: Sep 2001
Location: tranceaddict wants to know your location
Talking

bitch slap her and run away


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Found Atlantis - Mixography [mix archive/mokumentary/my soul]?
i writed a song.

Old Post Aug-05-2002 19:50 
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Spyder
Anti BS Alliance



Registered: Feb 2002
Location: Toronto CDN
Drunk

quote:
Originally posted by KilldaDJ
bitch slap her and run away


___________________
Addicted to UKTA MySpace
Good Girls go to Heaven, Naughty Girls go to London


Originally posted by jennypie
Because you're a filthy WHORE!

Old Post Aug-05-2002 20:00 
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Abbas
DoDo Addict



Registered: Jun 2001
Location: Hamilton, Canada & Alexandria, VA

LOL Julie........thats hilarious.....

but I agree, talk it out with her, tell her how you feel.....because thats the only way she will know, communication is essential


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Ths Cosmic Vortex

Old Post Aug-05-2002 22:43  Palestine
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Strike
Mo Wax



Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Markham, Ontario

juss lay down the law
tell her that u gotta cut her loose cuz a playa's gotta have his options

Old Post Aug-06-2002 03:24  Canada
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