Fuck. Forward me your credit card information and I'll have it direct deposited to your account.

quote:

Originally posted by VAR funny you should ask . . . well, i guess i'll share the story with you even though it is quite embarrassing. back when i was a special forces combat medic, we were patrolling through a town. we dismounted from our humvees and started walking. we walked into an ambush- a RPK started lighting us up from a second story window and a bunch of hajis with AKs followed suit. we take the primary threat down (RPK) quick and proceed to clear the other tangos. one popped out of an alley and started to draw a bead on me. i pulled the trigger only to find that i had a double-feed weapon malfunction. i croutched down while dropped my mag and was going for my pistol when . . . my fucking cock flies out like a rocket, severing itself from me and flies right into the hajis mouth, choking him!!! i double tapped haj with my pistol and ran over astonished at what i was seeing. the bastard's jaw was locked with my cock inside so i started kicking his jaw so that i could get my dick back. i finally pried it out of dead hajis mouth, my cock had bite marks and friction burns on it. i ran over to one of the other medics and showed him, he started laughing and saying WTF? my fucking cock then proceeds to jump out of my hand and slither across the sand! Deuce (weapons guy) starts stomping on it. i push him away, grab my cock, stick it in my pants cargo pocket and run to one of the humvees. i race back to camp and run in the field hospital in a bloody panic. everyone was busy, so i held my cock high in the air, swinging it violently while screaming "put my fucking cock back on now!" one of the nurses came over and got me on a litter and rushed my to OR. fortunately they succeeded in re-attaching it. /cheer but to this day he is not the same sadly. he trully has a mind of his own now. i'll be talking to a hawt chick and he'll start flailing around in my pants. you can't begin to understand how embarrassing that is.

Why yes - Arma2 Is only $8 on Steam this very moment!

___________________
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

quote:

Originally posted by VAR i held my cock high in the air, swinging it violently while screaming "put my fucking cock back on now!"

This forum is crudded up with tourists.

___________________
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Perhaps just one.

___________________
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

quote:

Originally posted by VAR thanx =) it's the second day that i have had it, laid it down today- ohh noes! i was going 150+mph (241kph) on the interstate and couldn't slow down enough for the turn.

And this is why I hate sports bikers...

Bullshit you did not barely get hurt after crashing at 150+ on a bike.

___________________
Quarantine Classics Brunello di Montalcino (In Transit) Edition [Progressive Classics] (August 2020)
Quarantine Classics - Puligny-Montrachet Edition [Progressive Classics] (April 2020)
What Is Progressive Anyways? [Progressive House Classics] (November 2019)

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Pie Lol is that really you? Post a pic of yourself with a handwritten sign that says "HI TA LOL"

lol, what am i some kenyan email con-artist or something?

___________________

No you just really look like a slick pervert.

quote:

Originally posted by Lews Bullshit you did not barely get hurt after crashing at 150+ on a bike.

i was braking heavily before and during the attempted turn, so by the time i went into the ditch i was not going 150. but i was going fast enough to fly into oncoming traffic- for some reason sport bike slick tires don't work well in grass.

and ZJ, get someone to change your diaper- i will not have sex with you, sry.

___________________

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Pie No you just really look like a slick pervert.

well damn, you're on to me.
wanna go camping?

___________________