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jesus, leave this guy alone. tiesto is already so uninteresting that this thread has not even produced one post in his defense.
i don't even think he is in charge of himself anymore. he "goes with the flow", which means someone decides his schedule for him. we will soon see him fall mysteriously ill only to be miraculously cured the next day. guess what: he wasn't cured -- he was cloned. the old Tijs became too smart and tried to change the game, tried to rewrite a few subclauses in the contract and give himself some leeway with touring dates, celebrity appearances, other superstar shiet, etc. the boys upstairs were having none of that. so they replaced him. it has been done before: it is much easier to give an icon a face and keep that plastered face repeating itself over and over, showing up in the same places over and over again, jesus-posing in the correct manner, etc. so we could easily imagine a tiesto farm (or factory, whatever image you like better) that keeps all this bullshit going. dj school? fuck dj school. djs barely have enough time to find music. who da flip is gonna spend time in class learning to count to 4 (or 32) along with 400 other people and then wave their certificate of authenticity (it states craftily at the bottom of the certificate, "John Smithesto is given the honorary title of Tijs 2nd Class for being able to count to 32 consistently and effectively" in really small print, "no guarantee of beatmatching. employ at your own risk. check our postgraduates for applied track selection/flow theory and advanced counting techniques!") at the club owner of their choice to get that gig? club owners, unfortunately, have no head for numbers that low. "32?-- get the fuck out of here. the smallest number occupying my head is 20000. any number less than 20000 is not worth my time. i got promoters for that shit."
keep the image of farmed tiest0rs in your head. let it ripen. and then read this: i hope tiesto flips out. i hope Tijs one day snaps at everyone in the boardroom -- scratch that, he probably never sees the boardroom -- i hope he snaps at everyone in general, stops picking up calls, tells his fans to leave him in peace/fuck off, and brings this entire industry to its knees. i hope he calls in every favour he has ever accumulated to stop this garbage college business. and then i hope he goes to live with Goa Gil, abandons him for being too set in his ways/commercial, & starts his own cult/something else more interesting (like selling goddamn seashells or something). any celebrity who has ever snapped and endangered their career deserves all of our respect.
then he'll have some peace. i mean this seriously. otherwise he's not even a person anymore. people have (arguably) free will. Tiest0r does not. Tiesto is not even a goddamn name -- it's a logo.
edit: i just realized that the op was about a new tour of colleges, not a new tiesto school for up-and-coming producers/djs. in Toronto, there are dj schools cropping up and the advertising is appearing on walls. a Tiesto school is not so far-fetched, if you think about it.
Last edited by pozz on Jul-07-2011 at 04:15
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