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Ian
Not dead yet.



Registered: Dec 2001
Location: UK

Mate

Do not let her take your kid away from you and make sure you get proper visitation rights and do your thing, be a dad to her and love her like I know you do. It's a problem that is too easy these days for people to go for a divorce rather than working on problems and her attitude seems wrong, makes me wonder what else is going on. She probably knows she'll get a council house as a young mother with 'nothing' which would be why she doesn't want the monies etc. Personally, sell the house, and sort yourself out. If you're in any doubt of her mothering, go for custody too, and watch out, there's no end of vindictive women around who end up causing a lot of trouble for the dads with kids. Make sure also that any money you send for Jorja is spent on her too, and if you need to talk msn sometime

Old Post Aug-27-2011 18:02 
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Halcyon+On+On
Liebchen



Registered: Sep 2004
Location: midcoast

quote:
Originally posted by [N]ûk|êû[Z]
basically its a sign of the times... stressful situations of not enough money to do things, her not having a job, conversations of debt and lack of money, the stresses of bringing up a child.

it is a sort of mutual separation, although i was willing to work at it, but for her it was past the point of repair. she couldnt have been more amacable to be fair. she dosnt want the house, she wants no money from me, all she wants is her clothes, and Jorja's cot and toys and stuff.

she has even worked out all my finances out for me so i know what im gonna need to deal wtih financially in the future.

so i guess it couldnt have turned out better really. it still just sucks tho


Not to slight your situation, but it could have turned out a looooooooooooottttt worse. Things obviously aren't done yet, so brace yourself, but be glad she didn't get a restraining order right away and claim you abused the kid just to get custody... It's usually completely within a woman's "right" to do so, so far as the courts seem to be concerned.

//I'm sorry, I thought you wrote that it "Could" have turned out better. You're right - things seem pretty good so far, being what they are.


___________________
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Last edited by Halcyon+On+On on Aug-27-2011 at 19:26

Old Post Aug-27-2011 19:17 
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knowhope
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: May 2009
Location: South Korea

Very sorry you're going through this.


Has anyone ever signed or made their partner sign a prenup?

Old Post Aug-27-2011 19:43  Canada
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[N]ûk|êû[Z]
The Producer Addict



Registered: Sep 2001
Location: Where Angelz Fear To Tread.

quote:
Originally posted by Ian
Mate

Do not let her take your kid away from you and make sure you get proper visitation rights and do your thing, be a dad to her and love her like I know you do. It's a problem that is too easy these days for people to go for a divorce rather than working on problems and her attitude seems wrong, makes me wonder what else is going on. She probably knows she'll get a council house as a young mother with 'nothing' which would be why she doesn't want the monies etc. Personally, sell the house, and sort yourself out. If you're in any doubt of her mothering, go for custody too, and watch out, there's no end of vindictive women around who end up causing a lot of trouble for the dads with kids. Make sure also that any money you send for Jorja is spent on her too, and if you need to talk msn sometime


to be honest ian, i dont doubt her mothering one little bit. if theres one person out there that loves my daughter more than i do, its her.
as i said, shes pretty much been as sound as possible with everything.
but i have been warned that womens decisions can change at the drop of a hat, so to not be suprised if things turn sour.. but as of yet.. it really is the best of a bad situation


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Old Post Aug-27-2011 19:51  England
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Zyklon_Jay
wehrmacht bitches be at!



Registered: Oct 2010
Location: Ici William Bumbray du service de police de la communauté urbaine de Montréal Esti.

quote:
Originally posted by knowhope
Very sorry you're going through this.


Has anyone ever signed or made their partner sign a prenup?


lol

unless you are really loaded and have justifiable reasons to need a prenup...good luck with asking that lol. Not too experienced with the ladies I see


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quote:
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Ching chang chow yun fat, Mr. Roboto.

Old Post Aug-27-2011 20:02 
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The17sss
C.R.E.A.M.



Registered: May 2008
Location: Charlotte, NC

sorry to hear about the bad news man. real life seriousness tends to put things in perspective. best of luck getting your life in order.

Old Post Aug-27-2011 20:04  United States
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knowhope
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: May 2009
Location: South Korea

quote:
Originally posted by Zyklon_Jay
lol

unless you are really loaded and have justifiable reasons to need a prenup...good luck with asking that lol. Not too experienced with the ladies I see
It's actually an honest question. We can't hide the fact that more than half the mariage end up in divorce. Money is a big issue in this competitive world.

Just wondering for the people who's settled down.

Old Post Aug-27-2011 20:36  Canada
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wienerschnitzel
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: May 2003
Location: out west

i'm sorry to hear that jay.. i know marriage is alot
of work in itself, plus having a young one and debt. I'm sorry that she's throwing in the towel so quickly. Jorja is around the same age rowan was when eli cheated on me and said he was leaving. We were able to work things out, but rowan doesn't remember a thing, and honestly, if it were to happen anyway, it's best it happen at an early age.
My sister has been married for 3 years now, she has a 15 month old baby and is 8 months pregnant with her second. When her husband found out she was pregnant again, he started having an affair (this was january) he had been having a full on relationship with a girl 10 years younger then him and didn't tell her about it until the end of may, after their daughters first birthday. It took him a while to actually break it off with the other girl, and he hasn't spoken to us (her family) since... but said he was commited to working it out. My sister thought about leaving him, but was terrified of being a single mum, living in her parents with 2 babies under the age of 2. so she's been doing everything she can to work it out. He's not. he's avoiding comming home at all costs, going out to the bar with friends, gets angry at her all the time, i think he just wants her to leave him. They're both playing this horrible stratigic plan to prepare themselves for a nasty divorce. My sister met with a laywer, and he is entitled to joint custody, even though he told her that he would just put the kids in daycare for 2 weeks while he worked. (he's RCMP) so it's pretty much her worst nightmare, that and he wouldn't have to give her much money, so she would essentially be broke, not able to work much with her 2 babies, and her husband has already told her he's taking as much as he can, even though he was the one that cheated and wont' work it out.

So, this is an on going thing, my sister told me she's given him until christmas to change, or she's leaving. It makes me furious and incredibly sad. I hope you and Zoe never get to that point. I know you'll see jorja as much as you can, and i hope she allows that. All the best jay, if you ever want to talk about this kind of stuff, send me a message.

Old Post Aug-27-2011 20:49  Canada
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Ted Promo
NWO WOLFPACK INSANE



Registered: Jun 2005
Location: Can this be my goal??!

How good are you at hiding evidence? Sexy, terrible evidence? The kind of evidence that on any other day you might clean the blood off and nuzzle close to your heartbeat, emitting semen from your sex starved pores.

Old Post Aug-27-2011 20:49 
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wienerschnitzel
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: May 2003
Location: out west

not as good as you ted, that's given.

Old Post Aug-27-2011 20:53  Canada
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Sushipunk
Flickering, I roam



Registered: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Verdafloor

Bummer Jay, really sorry to hear about that mate


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Old Post Aug-27-2011 22:25  Australia
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VDub
Scoundrel



Registered: Feb 2008
Location: Toronto

Really a bad thing to have to go through. Sorry to hear...

Only important thing now, obviously, is your kid....


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quote:
Originally posted by chinamon
chinamon is INCH MOAN.
LOL so fitting.

Old Post Aug-27-2011 23:09 
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