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| quote: | manraysbans 3 hours ago
Monica turned up at my house this morning, and urinated on herself while mewling outside my window. She said that her self loathing needs a 'bam-bam', which I took to mean a turd in her shoes. I asked her in, and as she rubbed herself against the bannister in the hall, I slipped off her shoe, and shit in it. Moments later, she replaced her shoe, said 'whoops-a-daddy', and tried to climb the stairs while rubbing her asshole on the carpet, in the manner of a dog with worms. 4 hours later, when she made it to the top of the stairs, she pleaded with me to 'slip her the one-eyed liberal', but I demurred. At the suggestion that she drown herself in the toilet, she queefed her way along the hall, but I had to stop her. She should at least throw herself down the stairs, and save my back. She's in the kitchen right now, boiling children's shoes. Any suggestions? |
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