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| quote: | you haven’t already heard, over a dozen people contracted food poisoning—some got it so bad they even wound up in the hospital—from Toronto’s sloppy ol’ CNE.
What was the culprit? Were people eating out of the garbage to protest the long line-ups at the Swing of the Century ride that nearly killed a whole bunch of people at the turn of the 21st century? Was a vendor stirring toilet water into the chocolate covered bacon wrapped hotdog batter, then passing it off as a demented art installation? No. Not this time.
This year, the intestinal terrorist was none other than the notorious and main attraction of the CNE food court—the Cronut Burger. If you don't know what a Cronut burger is, you have every right to be proud of yourself, but your pride is about to get a scissor kick right in its stupid little dick. The Cronut Burger is the bastard child of a deep fried cheese croissant donut hybrid, sandwiched between an all beef patty. One food critic described his experience to the Toronto Star by explaining how, "the granulated sugar falls into your hands, mixing with the burger grease to form a kind of salty-sweet gravy that oozes down your chin." Now let that sink in. Welcome to 2013, where mainstream news is all about people shitting their pants after eating one of these unholy treats.
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