The situation sounds weird but I'm not buying the swinger angle. He probably was cheating too and wasn't into the responsibility of a kid. So the situation fits what he wants: freedom with a gf and a kid on the side with someone else taking over most of the work and responsibility while still being an occasional dad.

I don't know if there was a question in your post but people are all sorts of odd so I'd resist the temptation to get involved or give them your opinion if that's where you're heading.

quote:

Originally posted by Jon_Snow He probably was cheating too and wasn't into the responsibility of a kid.

Pete raises a good point - he could be doing it out of guilt.

I once found out a friend's girlfriend was cheating on him, and I ended up telling him about it. Naturally, he was bloody livid, and broke up with her right away. A couple of months later, I had dinner with him and his new girlfriend, and she told me they had been dating for a little over four months. I had no idea. So maybe we're ignorant about him double-timing her.

So, yeah, I'd take this into consideration as well.

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No way. I know him better than most, he isn't like he was in college, absolutely no way he would cheat on her. This definitely started with her. He was in the process of trying to leave his old job that demanded too many hours and not enough pay, so he could spend more time with his family, but by the time he collected his contract bonus and left his job she had already cheated on him. He was completely devastated at first but he healed.

Also, we had a discussion when I hadn't heard much about the confusing relationship they had and he took my comments of confusion as personal attacks, thus cutting contact off with me until we were able to talk again on a family vacation and reconnect.

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People don't want advice, options, and judgements from family members especially from a brother; they want love, support, and understanding. Even if you knew exactly what happened it wouldn't change my previous point.
/Dr. Phil

Well, I never gave him any advice, only my opinion, which was clearly not welcomed, and I probably should have known that. But since I didn't know anything about the situation, I came to him with some questions and things that I had heard that I didn't know were true or not. Definitely should have re-thought how I spoke with him, but it's behind us at this point.

Also I'm not even remotely planning on approaching him with accusations of being swingers, and if you thought that was my goal of this post you are an utter fucking moron.

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Originally posted by ziptnf No way. I know him better than most, he isn't like he was in college, absolutely no way he would cheat on her.

Then it's probably just him trying to juggle family life and work in a way that is probably too novel for him (as it would be for anyone in his shoes).

quote:

Originally posted by Jon_Snow People don't want advice, options, and judgements from family members especially from a brother; they want love, support, and understanding.

Actually, giving each other advice is quite the norm in my family

But then, me mum is a therapist, so I guess it comes with the way we were raised, heh.

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quote:

Originally posted by Lira Actually, giving each other advice is quite the norm in my family But then, me mum is a therapist, so I guess it comes with the way we were raised, heh.

One of the perks to giving birth is you're entitled to give as much unsolicited advice whether or not you're a therapist.

quote:

Originally posted by Jon_Snow One of the perks to giving birth is you're entitled to give as much unsolicited advice whether or not you're a therapist.

I'm talking about me and my siblings, not my parents

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quote:

Originally posted by Lira I'm talking about me and my siblings, not my parents

I've never heard you talk about them I figured you as an only child. So does your younger brother often give you marital advice? And how well is it received?

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Originally posted by Jon_Snow I've never heard you talk about them I figured you as an only child. So does your younger brother often give you marital advice? And how well is it received?

Actually, my younger brother is plain terrible with relationships and I believe he hasn't got over a girl that dumped him five or six years ago, so he's never really tried to say anything of the sort.

But my younger sister doesn't mind giving and receiving the occasional pointer every now and then.

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quote:

Originally posted by Lira Actually, my younger brother is plain terrible with relationships and I believe he hasn't got over a girl that dumped him five or six years ago, so he's never really tried to say anything of the sort. But my younger sister doesn't mind giving and receiving the occasional pointer every now and then.

My family is quite the opposite none of us give advice accept my mom.

I'm like your younger brother. I'm amazed when I see some people breathe in and out of relationships.

Btw, reminds me of poor Weinersneizel