quote:

Originally posted by Lira The Netherlands: My dark orange horse. I don't care what anyone but Joachim Klement says. If he says the Oranje have a shot, I might as well get a two-stripe tattoo down my arms and pray that the ghosts of Cruijff past bless the team. If there's a team whose World Cup victory is long overdue, it's Holland.

Lira are you on glue? Overdue is right but that team they barely manage to locate the opposite side of the pitch against Uzbekistan, they're not even going to make the quarters.

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quote:

He is a very talented musician and an enthusiastic entertainer but he can't mix two beers together with a bucket and a funnel.

quote:

Originally posted by Midlothian Lira are you on glue? Overdue is right but that team they barely manage to locate the opposite side of the pitch against Uzbekistan, they're not even going to make the quarters.

Hey, you let me enjoy my stroopwafel-induced sugar high in peace!

Look, I'm already bracing myself for disappointment after pinning nearly all my hopes on South Korea and Brazil. Even according to my model, there's only a 6% chance that one of these teams might win, and the distribution is kind of skewed, to say the least. Do you really want to break my heart when even my model gives a Dutch triumph roughly half that percentage? Do you want to shatter my dreams when my dusty orange jersey is always ready for brief bouts of world exploration every four years, only to be shoved back into the drawer without being replaced by a newer, more starred successor?

The Netherlands have conquered the sea. The Netherlands have conquered whatever makes Gouda cheese that damn good. Dare to dream that this is your shot at conquering the world! 🧡

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quote:

Originally posted by Lira Hey, you let me enjoy my stroopwafel-induced sugar high in peace! Look, I'm already bracing myself for disappointment after pinning nearly all my hopes on South Korea and Brazil. Even according to my model, there's only a 6% chance that one of these teams might win, and the distribution is kind of skewed, to say the least. Do you really want to break my heart when even my model gives a Dutch triumph roughly half that percentage? Do you want to shatter my dreams when my dusty orange jersey is always ready for brief bouts of world exploration every four years, only to be shoved back into the drawer without being replaced by a newer, more starred successor? The Netherlands have conquered the sea. The Netherlands have conquered whatever makes Gouda cheese that damn good. Dare to dream that this is your shot at conquering the world! 🧡

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quote:

He is a very talented musician and an enthusiastic entertainer but he can't mix two beers together with a bucket and a funnel.

quote:

Originally posted by Midlothian Lira are you on glue? Overdue is right but that team they barely manage to locate the opposite side of the pitch against Uzbekistan, they're not even going to make the quarters.

What on Earth has happened to Dutch football, Mid? Where have all the players gone?

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> Maximum Elevation [Progressive House]
> DI.FM 26th Anniversary Guest Mix [Progressive House]
> Live @ Dance:Love:Hub London, 11.10.2025
> Higher Peaks [Progressive House]
> Dance:Love:Hub Afterparty (The Return) 23.11.24

Like these sets? Come see me play live at Kibosh in Manchester: https://www.instagram.com/kibosh.mcr/

quote:

Originally posted by Midlothian

Footage of Netherlands 2 x 1 Japan, Saturday, colourised

Edit: Turns out my model isn't as bullish as I am. Well, I'm not one to let reality hamper my optimism when it comes to football. NED 1 x 0 JAP, apparently is the most likely result, but I stand by what I said.

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Last edited by Lira on Jun-10-2026 at 13:32

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J What on Earth has happened to Dutch football, Mid? Where have all the players gone?

Inclined to say the academies are mostly producing weaklings; it's no coincidence e.g. almost everyone who leaves Ajax for abroad at top leagues fails. Bastards are too spoiled to work hard and maybe it is just bad luck there's no new Sneijder or Robben let alone a Bergkamp or Vd Sar. Does Frenkie do anything but pass the ball back to someone behind him over at Barcelona? But former top players who become managers seem to mostly fail as well since they don't have what it takes, except one or two who weren't top players but end up managing teams like Liverpool for a few seasons. So few good strong players, fewer strong managers, lousy policy at the top clubs. Everything goes to fuck!

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quote:

He is a very talented musician and an enthusiastic entertainer but he can't mix two beers together with a bucket and a funnel.

Dutch academies were always some of the best in the world, though. The tactical intelligence of Dutch players was second to none, not to mention the technique. Something seems to have happened though in the last decade. How can the nation that gave us Cruyff, Van Basten, Bergkamp, Sneijder, Van Persie and Robben be going into a World Cup with a carthorse like Wout Weghorst anywhere near the first team?

___________________
Mixes:
> Maximum Elevation [Progressive House]
> DI.FM 26th Anniversary Guest Mix [Progressive House]
> Live @ Dance:Love:Hub London, 11.10.2025
> Higher Peaks [Progressive House]
> Dance:Love:Hub Afterparty (The Return) 23.11.24

Like these sets? Come see me play live at Kibosh in Manchester: https://www.instagram.com/kibosh.mcr/

quote:

Originally posted by Lira Footage of Netherlands 2 x 1 Japan, Saturday, colourised Edit: Turns out my model isn't as bullish as I am. Well, I'm not one to let reality hamper my optimism when it comes to football. NED 1 x 0 JAP, apparently is the most likely result, but I stand by what I said.

I'm just waiting for whatever crazy shit might happen in the US, or in Mexico at the opening.

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quote:

He is a very talented musician and an enthusiastic entertainer but he can't mix two beers together with a bucket and a funnel.

quote:

Originally posted by Midlothian I'm just waiting for whatever crazy shit might happen in the US, or in Mexico at the opening.

My money is on angry Mexicans sacrificing Gianni Infantino to appease the mythical Aztec citrus gods. My model gives it a 6% shot of happening in our timeline.

Which, come to think of it, is sort of almost twice as much as I gave to the Dutch victory. Make of it what you will.

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I just convinced our Office Manager to hook up the projector in the break room to broadcast todays match (Mexico vs Elon).

Viva Mexico!!!

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Jaded, old fart is me.

Hear ye, hear ye! I have updated my model, and I hereby bring you the most accurate predictions that will be proven wrong in the next few hours:

1. Spain: A 1 in 5 chance of winning. According to the Excel gods, they will presumably win the tournament by completing 43,000 passes in midfield until the opposition full-back forgets why he is even there and lets them through. Sí, pasarán.
   
2. Argentina: Knicks in 7. Lionel Messi may be elderly by football standards but is still apparently classified by my model as a weather event, although I'm not sure the 14% makes much sense. Either way, not my call, so.
   
3. France: A 1 in 10 shot at victory, lurking in the background like a luxury car with military applications. Sort of Lupin if France cast Idris Elba as James Bond. Should anyone steal my dreams, let it be France.
   
4. The late United Kingdom of Portugal, Brazil and the Algarves: A 1 in 10 chance of triumph. Actually 1 in 20 for either Brazil or Portugal, but I'm making these victories interchangeable because I want to give us a bump up the list.
   
5. Colombia: 1 in 20, with a little rounding up of the percentages. They used to be so fun to watch in the good old Higuita days that I kind of hope Colombia will go down in football history for something other than Shakira's "Waka Waka Eh Eh".
   
6. England: A 7.2% probability of ultimate success, which means the model has boldly predicted three weeks of national euphoria followed by frantic revisions to chants about World Wars and World Cups. Doo dah, doo dah.
   
7. The Netherlands: 3.4%. Roughly the same as the heavyweights Germany and Ecuador, who have, on average, two World Cups each. Am I torturing the figures so they say what I want? Kind of. Am I doing it now just to annoy Mid? Kind of also yes. Do I really hope the world will finally be painted orange? Definitely yes. The dream begins, Dutchly putting the "van" in mild statistical vandalism, a dusty orange jersey, and Hup Hup Holland!
   
8. Japan or South Korea: A 2.7% probability that either might win, which is wonderfully dangerous. Fine, Japan is actually doing the heavy lifting here, but please let me dream. I know South Korea still have just a 0.4% chance of pulling off their greatest upset since 2002 and their win over Germany. But this is, mathematically, a number. A tiny number. A number that looks like it should be printed on the side effects leaflet for a medication. But it is not zero, and therefore it is legally binding emotional evidence that Son Heung-min might lift the World Cup. I refuse to let this go.

May the chips fall where they may.

quote:

Originally posted by 72hrpartyanimal (Mexico vs Elon).

Mexico will likely win, so get ready for a great evening!

Edit: Wait, why do I have a cousin on the pitch?

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Last edited by Lira on Jun-11-2026 at 19:52

Happy for Jimenez to score his first goal for Mexico at 35. He's had quite an up and down career in the EPL because of an awful head inury he suffered years ago. Was so good for the Wolves in his early career. Has done decent enough for Fulham after a long recovery process.