There is very little a person cannot do once they come to the realization that they are capable of doing it.

quote:

Originally posted by TiestoFanMatt Does anyone else suffer from this? When i refer to low confidence i associate it with women. You see, i am soooo shy. I hate it, but i am only shy to strangers, as soon as i have a conversation going or something, i'm fine. Last night i went clubbing, and this really HOT girl was grinding against me whilst i was talking to my mate, she made it pretty obvious that she liked me b'coz i was against the wall and, well i pretty much couldn't move. My mate was like "go for it!" so i just started dancing with her from behind (as u do). Now for me to do that took some fucking determination. I mean, i was sooo nervious because i am always scared of being turned down! Well anyway, two lads were watching which made me nervious as i had no idea who they were lol Anyway, her friend came over and pulled her away. Luckily i dont go out to pull because if i did, i would have quit a long time ago. I just go out to have a good time and i did definatly last night - for an angel and silence played beautiful!!!!lol I just lack the confidence to go up to a girl and start talking and its, well its pissing me off now that i cant do it. Anyway, do you ppl think that some ppl just arn't going to be able to pull in clubs? THey're just bound to find girls they like from work, university, college etc..? because thats what i feel i may be like at the moment! Anyway, sorry for rambling, my friends hit me when i say this so im expecting some grusome replies lol...be nice Matt P.s. i think il join myself to the "single and ready to mingle" thread lol

I know the feeling mate. It drives me insane not being able to just walk up to a girl who I know is giving me looks and say something to her. I had MANY experiences with that my first year at university, the girls even came up to me and I messed it up. I'm slowly learning to get over my shyness. I'll conquer it soon. Btw, whatever happened to that girl who was grinding w you? You ever see her again after her friend dragged her away?

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Und ich tanz einfach weiter...

Kinda off the topic, but alas..

There was this really nice female at work, and we got along like a house on fire, as friends.
The other day she left for another job, and its left a feeling of great loss within me. Should I make an effort to try and meet with her often, or just let it go, going on any of your previous experiences?

Appreciated.

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yep

Aussie, go for it. If only coz you'll miss her company, suss out what she's doin, and hook up with her at a pub or something. If you're both good friends she'll have no prob with that. If she does, she's just plain weird.


As for the best method. Its not to have one. Fark i don't walk around thinking, ok, now i'll try to pick up... shit, now i'm gonna. Geez, i just go out to have fun, get drunk with friends and chat to strangers, for no reason at all, if something else happens along the way, so be it, i'm not gonna stop it.

Roll with the punches, laugh it off, 'ave a good evening.

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Tick tick tick tick boom.

Every time i go out now i just look at my night in one way, and that is, did i enjoy it in terms of dancing and getting pissed, answer, always yes. But i always feel a hole that i dont even try with women. Its easy to say how easy it is lol.
Forgot who it was but il answer a question. About a year ago i was pretty overweight and iv lost allot of that, and now im just medium built with a icle bit of puppy fat (as my mum calls it)so iv really really done well and my confidence compared is brilliant. Im still losing weight as well but everytime i approach a girl i get all self contious, i look at myself when i dance, and i always think "why would a girl like a fat bastard like me". It sounds like i feel sorry for myself, and i don't lol. Its really pathetic, and i know it but i cant help it

The girl i was grinding with danced near me all night but i just couldnt get the guts to dance near her again. I thought that girls like to go out and dance, and maybe she just wanted to dance, as not everyone wants to pull whem they're out do they?

I'll try the "i dont give a shit" next time lol and just have a go.

OMG i just realised, u ppl are my councilors

Thanks 4 the help, Matt

quote:

Originally posted by davinox quit trying to sound smart.

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so ur pretty much saying iv been doing the wrong things and im fucked at pulling during clubbing

good advice though, but u seem to say that not many blokes pul, when i go clubbing, theres allot of ppl getting off, and im always the minority lol but ar well

Matt

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Originally posted by Vesa I guess it depends on the venue. At discos where I go, I've seen only a few guys pull, and at clubs where I go, I've seen only top DJs pull My model-looking friend told that he had pulled at discos only once in five years! No shit, I've seen only a few guys leave with women. Usually the girls who come to grind their asses into a guy are only teasing and/or are totally pissed. They are actually the most difficult to bed because they are on a manipulation trip, and an indifferent kiss is the most that they give away. There are probably pick-up discos here separately where people go to pull, and it's much easier. But the coolest dance places here have the most beautiful women (that's why I hang out there in the first place), but it's nearly impossible to even start talking there. Plus half of the women's acquaintances are there watching them, so social control is overwhelming. Anyway, I don't think there's any other advice to give about pulling except to play it cool and keep it real. Things happen when it's time.

no offence, but I think the UK is slightly different, if coup can pull whilst pulling, anyone can

quote:

I guess it depends on the venue. At discos where I go, I've seen only a few guys pull, and at clubs where I go, I've seen only top DJs pull My model-looking friend told that he had pulled at discos only once in five years! No shit, I've seen only a few guys leave with women.

woops, for me or my mates, or here most people, pulling is not taking a girl to shag, its just getting off with them, or making out as allot of people call it.

Should have made that clear, damn me

Lol

Matt

heh i agree with Vesa's novel (pun intended) reply.
i usually play it coy until i know the chick is checking me out.

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Wave is to particle as zero is to one as bagpipes are to modem noises.