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PatMcGroin
lost

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: here? there?
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| quote: | Originally posted by cap
lol..I never heard of someone not being able to handle their pot..then again I am canadian and canadians can handle their shit! |
well. honestly, and not to sound consided or anything, but i can pretty much smoke anyone under the table. the only problem i had that night, was i was drinking as well (which is what fucked me).
sorry i haven't been online lately, i would have needed this support. my uni's internet is so fucked. but yeah. weed, i'm done with for atleast a while. i don't mind being an occasional visitor to that world, but for now atleast i'm completely done with it.
cigs on the other hand. i had such a horrible day yesterday. the semester started again, physics, calc 2, comp sci. and in addition to all that i'm an entire ocean away from the woman i love. plus i hate this place. i used to love it here, but its nothing compared to being with my gf. the only thing i have here are my friends, and half of them smoke, so i had to leave everytime they smoked cigs. but anyway. i want to leave this place. i don't want to be here anymore. why am i going to graduate from an american university (where the education is crap) and then get a job in england. it'd be a lot better to finish my degree in england, which is my plan for now. so this semester seems sort of a waste. waste of my time, waste of my money, and a waste of my effort. all of this pilled on top of about 5 other major problems i have, and being away from my gf. it was too much for me to bare. so i broke down yesterday and smoked a cig. but atleast i'm smoking lights now (less tar and nicotine). yeah i know its still horrible, but honestly, now is not the best time for me to quit. i have hard classes, i work a night job (by myself) from 11pm-7am (where i am now) and honestly, i've only been smoking for 7 months now, so another 4 aren't going to do too much more damage. my body can still repair itself. plus i'm going to try and limit myself to a pack of cigs a week (in addition to them being lights).
this summer i have 6 weeks in miami living at home with my mom. and my mom doens't know i smoke, so i think that'll be a better time for me to quit. because its not like i can just do it right there. it'll require effort for me to go out and have a cig.
i feel like crap though because i'm smoking again, but i think quitting right now would actually do more harm that good. shit, those 4 days off it, it fucked up my sleeping so much. fucking waking up every hour in the middle of the night. and i need good sleep for the job that i do, because i have classes, hard classes, during the day.
i'm sorry.
:-| <-- this is me 
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Jan-08-2003 04:56
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