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| quote: | Originally posted by Prod
You should know what you want/like but you shouldn't think of picking up a girl as a desparate last stand against all of the universe like most men do  which is exactly why I say be casual and consider it like as if you're talking to someone you know well :P Most girls will find that non-threatening and will feel more comfortable around you. Now that's a simple answer  |
Desperation has a lot to do with guys not knowing what they want. Knowing what you want involves knowing what kind of response you're expecting, what kind of things you want her to be able to talk about, etc. One guy on here (can't remember who) wore a shirt that said "Talk Nerdy to Me". I said, "does that ever actually work?" He said "Not often, but when it does it's the type of people I'm looking for." That's knowing what you want, knowing you can afford to be picky, knowing that you think they're hot but it's THEIR loss if they don't want to talk to someone who's smart, successful, great in bed, etc.
| quote: | | One thing I noticed is that people are drawn to other people who are much like them in the subconscious, which is exactly why I have had the experiences I have, and you've had expereinces with people who tend to be more agressive. |
I'm sorry but I just don't buy that. Now I could see you saying that, in a longer-term relationship, personality traits can often turn out to be more important than common interests, which is true for me at least - most of the girls I "click" with are also cynical, sarcastic, pretty intelligent, etc.
But if what you're trying to say is that there's some divine force guiding us toward people who are the same "deep down", then that's simply not true.
I'll give you an example of why it isn't. There's this girl in my class, and it's pretty obvious that she likes me. And you know, she's kind of cute herself. Not "my eyes glaze over and I start sporting wood every time she's in the room" cute, just more like "wouldn't mind having her sit next to me" cute. So why don't I ask her out on a real date? Because I can't talk to her. Not because I'm afraid, but because she is as shy as shy gets, and we simply can't hold up a conversation for more than 2 minutes. I have tried, several times, but it just doesn't work. She's in the same program as me so we undoubtedly have common interests, but it would never work because I simply don't have the patience to walk her through every conversation.
What you guys have to understand is that when a girl thinks you're cute, it's most likely this same category of cute. Only a select few guys will ever enter a girl's mind as "Oh my god, fuck me now" cute - just "Hmm, he seems okay" cute. That means you have a chance - not a sure thing. If she's really hot, then you're probably more attracted to her than she is to you, but if she's somewhat attracted to you then you're fine as long as you do the footwork! But even if you do the footwork, if you come across as a blubbering idiot having nothing to say for yourself, then you lose. She's not going to be attracted to you based on how much you want her, it's going to be based on who you are.
Being a wuss is not "being yourself." And if you consider yourself to be particularly shy, then that is one occasion where you shouldn't be "yourself."
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and I definitely agree that I'd rather a girl approach me with convo over a "direct hit"... but I think you'll find that the fairer sex tend to be more subtle than that...
heh heh, which is funny because guys, as a general rule, don't GET subtle... like me for instance! 
haha) so before any more arguments arise, here's my point:
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