shit i read this whole thing.. super class!!!

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quote:

Originally posted by frank lee

worst altbump evar

shit i remember this thread.

that's when we used to have quality posts in the COR

ahhh those where the days...

quick someone bring back that send the letter thread

I was a senior in high school. Was partying up north at UCSB (University of Santa Barbara) with my best friend.

It is late, perhaps 2 - 3 am. My friend and I are tired from college dorm parties... however, our morale is weak. Neither of us have hooked up with any girls that night. Us, being high school students, over a 100 miles away from home, utterly surrounded by drunken, moist college pussy - are NOT ready to give up the fight yet. The night cannot end without female interaction, otherwise we are doomed to masturbate with our tears.

I spot a busty blonde walking down the street, a solid '7' on the hotness scale. I am drunk, tired, away from home, with nothing to lose. I muster up every ounce of courage within my soul, and simply ask:

'You wanna fuck?'

SHE SAYS SURE! I clutch her by the waist with a death grip, fueled by adrenaline, and lead her back to my best friend's brother's college dorm (as he was attending UCSB and had invited us to party with him).

In a spout of victory I bust the door open, and drag her plastered ass up the stairs into the bedroom. She hops unto the bed, and as I turn around to shut the door, I see my best friend entering the room.

He's taking his pants off. So what did my drunk ass say in response?

'SWEET! MY FIRST GANG BANG!!!'

So my friend and I make a sex-kabob out of Hailee, the college whore. I got the front, friend took the rear. I liked the front, as I got to flap her giant tits around like they were cushion toys, and with her scratching and grabbing my chest I was having a pretty damn good time. He finishes first, and walks out of the room. As he opens the door, another man stumbles in.

'HAILEE!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE MEN!? OH MY GOD!'

I'm speechless, and Hailee tells me that the dude was her best friend, who was following us the entire time, apparently. He happened to be gay. So her gay best friend decides to sit on the other bed and simply watch me skullfuck Hailee against the bedpost. He's just watching me the entire time. Anyways, he keep going on and on about my cute hair. Anyways, I suppose I was fucking for too long because one of the dorm mates is pounding on the door, shouting:

'YOU FUCKING SLOW-CUMMING BASTARD! I HAVE TO BE AT WORK AT 6:00! HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM! AND WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT QUEER! YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FUCKING HOMO!'

So, after telling the gay guy to stop trying to play with my ass for the tenth time, I finally bust my load into Hailee's mouth. We walk out, with everyone in the dorm shouting,

'WALK OF SHAME! WALK OF SHAME!'

What was Hailee's response? Why, what any other college whore would say,

'It's just sex!'

As they walk out, my best friend is throwing pennies at Hailee, shouting,

'THANKS FOR THE GOOD TIME!!!'

I woke up the next morning with Lawry's seasoning salt on my head, and a pissed off dorm mate demanding quarters so he could wash his bedsheets. I had no change, and felt bad about the stains on his pillow cover (I didn't know about them until that morning) so I bought him a good breakfast.

High school was cool.

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When a wise man gives thee better counsel, give me mine again: I would have none but knaves follow it, since a fool gives it.

quote:

Originally posted by couch-potato I woke up the next morning with Lawry's seasoning salt on my head

wat

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www.misterfalconmusic.com

Could of been worst you could of been filming it . You did didn't you...Rapidshare..Rapidshare hehe

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" You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip
through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us will-
ing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert."

I used to work security on weekends at a hotel. Once, I recieved a noise complaint and went to check on it. Coming out of the elevator, I heard what was clearly the enthusiastic grunting and screaming of a woman mid-coitus.

I stood outside the door for a few minutes, giving them the opportunity to finish up...they kept going, so I knocked on the door and identified myself as security.

"Come in"

Woman is still riding her man like a 10-speed bike

"Uh, hi. Hotel security, we're had a couple of noise complaints"

"oh, sorry, we'll try to keep it down"

"Thanks, we (the hotel) appreciate it."

I leave he room, the couple still going at it like I wasn't even there. I close the door, stand there for a second trying to figure out what had just happened, then go back to work.

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If you can't be good, be careful.

"Hey look, I can make a heart-shape with my hands!!!" So Fucking what? Stop it. You're a douche.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in the eyes of your enemies.

I was in Amsterdam back in 2001 with my girl we were staying in a nice hotel not to far from dam square we had been out drinking and came back around mid-night, we decided to chill and watched some TV, after 10 minutes in the next room this couple started fu*cking like crazy , we heard lamps smashing and she was screaming , I was like what should I do are they f*ucking or is he killing her, after a few minutes I heard groaning and some other guy was in there too , they were having a orgy I was like this is awesome.

Just to piss them off I turned on the pr0n on the TV and turned up the volume to the max, LOL

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" You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip
through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us will-
ing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert."

I was getting my dick sucked, we where in the theater room, and like 4 of her family started walking down stairs, but they didn't come in the room, but went to the room right next door, and started looking for a board game to play. They where in there for like 15 minutes, so we resumed

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JustinMead - HighSkies (Need reviews)

I was at a girl's house once and heard footsteps coming up the stairs (her parent/s)

Thought fast and yelled out the now infamous line:

AND THAT'S WHEN I FOUND OUT SHE HAD A PENIS!

Then the footsteps start fading as they went back downstairs

close call

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quote:

Originally posted by jennypie Hmmmm...I don't know how to make a long story short... Basically, I got caught having a threesome with my ex and his ex by his mother. The thing that makes it so terrible is that when it happened, I hadn't met his parents yet, we had only confirmed being prom dates. She would have had no idea who I was if I hadn't called my mother at 5 in the morning to tell her I was safe. She didn't answer when the phone rang, so instead called back. Of course his mother comes downstairs with the phone saying someone's mother is looking for Jennifer, and BAM! There were all three of our hot naked little bodies, sprawled across the two couches, which we had pushed together. I got up and said "that's me" (totally mortified of course), and grabbed the phone from her. Strangely, she just went right back upstairs. I guess she didn't want to let what she just saw sink in too long. Oh yeah, and to top it all off...a week later I showed up at his house, all ready for the prom. Just imagine the look on his mother's face when I came in the door and introduced myself...

rofflez