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hier noch was auf Englisch, who´s who on message boards.
1. THE MODERATOR
The moderator will tell everyone that they own the board, whether they do or not. It's the Internet equivalent of an old man in a sports car; 'come back to my place baby and I'll show you my message board. The moderators always on a power trip and constantly looking for any excuse to exercise their authority, just to let everyone know who's boss (as if people care)! Of course, the power never goes to their head, oh no, just like that other bloke, what was his name? Adolf something?
2. THE NEWBIE
Everyone begins their message board life as a newbie and traditionally pop their posting cherry with a hello, Im new thread. On some clubbing boards the more courteous members reply with a welcoming response, whilst on others the reply is simply fegg off (if its a local board for local people). Female newbies traditionally get a much more welcoming response than the males (particularly if their username has the word babe, littlemiss or a name with any sexual reference).
3. THE WANNABE DJ
The wannabe DJ is the next Andy Farley dont you know, theyre going to be as big as Sasha, only all they need is a break. The wannabe DJ got their first set of decks 6 months ago, they have a God given talent and they know all there is to know about DJing already. They have a great record collection (consisting of all Tidy Trax releases from the last year) and are capable of playing a wicked bangin set. The wannabe DJ is also very versatile and is capable of playing a funky set that Erick Morillo would be proud of with the three House records they own. The wannabe DJ is going to be the next big thing, their best mate whos listened to their very ard bangin ard ard House Volume 2 tape says so.
4. THE ARSEHOLE
Being rude on the Internet just doesnt get boring for the arsehole. They aim to abuse and offend. However, the arsehole usually only has a few insulting phrases in their vocabulary, which they repeat over and over again until theyre either embarrassed into leaving, or when their mother says its time for a bath. Usually the arsehole is quiet and shy in person so perhaps if we paid them more attention in real life then they wouldnt feel the need to show off on a message board and release all the inbound aggression they have pent up in the real world?
5. THE IN-CROWD
The in-crowd are a select cliquey group of friends that youll find on any clubbing message board. The in-crowd stick together like dog poopoo on a shoe, sharing their in-jokes and special phrases that only they understand. On some clubbing boards the in-crowd can be offensive, ganging up in unison on the defenceless victim. Together, members of the in-crowd act clever, thingyy and arrogant. However by themselves they're a different person, without their fellow in-crowd members behind them to back them up.
6. THE VICTIM
The victim is ruthlessly ganged up and picked on by the in-crowd and arsehole of a message board for their own amusement. Everything the victim says is twisted and turned around to be used against them. The victim often doesn't help themselves by putting up messages leaving them wide open for abuse and digs deeper holes with lame replies giving their tormenters more fuel for their fire of abuse.
7. THE DOMINANT FEMALE
She is just like the dominant female in a group of chimps. The dominant female lets all the new boys follow her around and sniff her bum. However, this is to the displeasure of the other females in the group who secretly don't like it but rarely confront her, instead choosing to just scream and beat their chests. The dominant female gets to parade around the board like she owns the place with all the randy adolescent chimps following her, showing off and praising her in the hope they'll get laid (though they rarely do).
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