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"You want some bacon?"
"No, man, I don't eat pork."
"Are you Jewish?"
"No, I ain't Jewish, i just don't dig on swine, that's all."
"Why not?"
"Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals."
"But bacon tastes good, pork chops taste good..."
"Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy mother******s. Pigs sleep and root in shit, that's a filthy animal. I don't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces."
"How about a dog? A dog eats its own feces"
"I don't eat dog either"
"Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?"
"I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy, but it's definately dirty. But, dogs got personality, personality goes a long way."
"So by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filty animal. Is that true?"
"We' have to be talkin' 'bout one charmin' motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?"
If you haven't had Gates BBQ back ribs here in KC, you are missing some killer grub. The burnt ends sandwich is f$cking unbelievable as well. Actually, KC BBQ in general for that matter. As with cows and chickens, I feel bad knowing what we do to these animals for our consumption. But damnit it tastes too damn good, my conscience just melts away.
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Whence September dusk grows crisper still,
with leaves all crimson conquered,
I yearn to shout,
and dance about,
and stick pickles in my honker...
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