from the itchy and scratchy movie episode

Homer: You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt,
but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until
I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table.
[cheerily] The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?
Homer: [cheerily] I like stories.

___________________

quote:

Originally posted by lethal Homer: hmmm peanut.....*drops peanut*.... ahhhh wheres my peanut?? *searching under the sofa* Homer: awww... a 20 dollar bill, i wanted my peanut Homers Brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts Homer: Explain how.. Homers Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services...

OMGIDIE!!!! hahahahahahahaha i luv that quote




"Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead." "-Homer

" I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down." - Homer

"Homer: Bart when you want something get a job, just like when I wanted something and may parents wouldn't get it for me.
Bart: So, what did you do?
Homer: I held my breath and banged my head on the coffee table until they bought it for me. The doctors thought I might have brain damage.
Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?
Homer: I like stories."

"[Homer has been thrown out of an all-you-can-eat restaurant for eating too much.]
Lionel Hutz: This is the most blatant case of false advertising since my suit against the movie The Neverending Story!
Homer: So, do you think I have a case?
Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I don't use the word 'hero' lightly, but you are the greatest hero in American history.
Homer: Woohoo!"

Lionel Hutz: So what did you do after you were removed from the "all you can eat fish" restaurant?
Marge: We drove around until 2am looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant.
Lionel Hutz: And did you find one?
Marge: No.
Lionel Hutz: What did you do then?
Marge: We went fishing.

___________________

Lisa: "It is better to remain silent and be thought the fool, then
to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Homer’s Brain:"Uh-oh what did that mean. Better say something
or they’ll think you’re stupid."
Homer:"Takes one to know one!!"
Homer’s Brain: "Swish!"

quote:

Originally posted by Vigilante "Homer: Bart when you want something get a job, just like when I wanted something and may parents wouldn't get it for me. Bart: So, what did you do? Homer: I held my breath and banged my head on the coffee table until they bought it for me. The doctors thought I might have brain damage. Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story? Homer: I like stories."

ok u just posted the exact same thing right underneath my post, and you misquoted, nice job reading

___________________

The Simpsons going into the Witness Relocation Program

Agent: We have places your family can hide in peace and security: Cape Fear, Terror Lake, New Horrorfield, Screamville --
Homer: [enthusiastically] Ooh, Ice Creamville!
Agent: Er, no, Screamville.
Homer: [scared] Aah!

One agent suggests a new identity for Homer.

Agent: Tell you what, sir. From now on, you'll be, uh, Homer Thompson at Terror Lake. Let's just practise a bit, hmm? When I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson," you'll say, "Hi."
Homer: Check.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
Homer: [stares blankly]
Agent: Remember now, your name is Homer Thompson.
Homer: I gotcha.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
Homer: [stares blankly]
[A long time later]
Agent: [sighs in frustration] Now, when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson," and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson! [stomps on Homer's foot a few times]
Homer: [stares blankly]
[to other agent] I think he's talking to _you_.

ROFL
Then he starts wearing a "Witness Relocation Program" t-shirt and hat

___________________

Lionel Hutz: Oh-Oh, Judge[insert name here]
Homer: What's wrong with Judge[insert name here]
Lionel: Well i kinda accidently ran over his dog:
Homer: Oh
Lionel Hutz: Yeh...replace accidently with repeatly and dog with...son


sorry if repeated ;D, damm, i forget that judges name !@#

___________________

Selma rushes home, having missed the beginning of MacGyver. And she watches the ending...

quote:

Man: Thank you, Senor MacGyver. You've saved our village. MacGyver: Don't thank me. Thank the moon's gravitational pull.

___________________

• TRACKS FOR GRAPE PICKING
• TRACKS WHEN YOU HAVE GLITTER STUCK ALL OVER YOU

You can dance, you can dance, everybody look at your pants!

___________________

This is H.T.V.I. Happy TV International, bringing you happy news from around the world, 24 hours a day.

quote:

Originally posted by nicknack damm, i forget that judges name !@#

Judge Snyder

"Motion to declare that boys will boys!"

___________________

WHERE'S MY BURRITO!!!, WHERE'S MY BURRITO!!!, WHERE'S MY BURRITO!!!


Bart: Dad, there's a father & son river rafting expedition this weekend

Homer: haha, you don't have a son

I'll never get sick if the Simpsons

Simpsons Quotes