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| quote: | Originally posted by nialsjd
the only thing scarier than using a mach3 razor is using a mach2, which doesn't have gel lubricant and thus is more likely to cause cuts while shaving |
How about this?
First, you kidnap them with chloroform, which gives you plenty of time to bind and gag them, then get them back to your place for torture. While they are stuck, make little slits with a razor blade all over sensitive parts of the body (under the armpits and on stomach/chest...back of knees, tops of feet). You follow each slice with several drops of some kind of juice with citric acid (lemon is likely best). Once youve gotten all your cuts, a few healthy sprays of this juice liberally over them should work nicely. Following this, you get your pack of ciggarettes out, and smoke them slowly, expounding all the smoke in ther direction. At the end of each ciggarette, carefully select a sensitive point of the body (eyelids, earlobes, the inside part of your elbow), and slowly push the tip of the cigarette into said place. by the time youre on cig #4 or 5, you probably wont want to bother trying to give them second hand smoke poisoning, so just light the cigg then put it out on them. Following this, grab your favorite pair of needle nose pliers and carefully grasp the end of your subjects toenail. Starting with the pinky toe, give the nail a firm enough tug to wear it will largely dislodge, then twist the nail out the rest of the way as though it were the other kind of nail, stuck in the wall. repeat with the pinky toe on the other foot, and alternate toes and feet from outside to in, ripping off the big toe nail off in 2 segments per big toe. Your target screaming may be an annoying factor, so at this point, grab their tounge with the pliers, hold their head firmly with one hand and rip as much of the tounge out as possible. This will not stop them from screaming, but a sharp jab with the butt end of the pliers to the throat should keep them silent for a bit. Next, take a qtip or wodden stir stick and slip it into their ear. When the object seems lodged, give it a sharp blow with the palm of your hand. Repeat this with the other ear. Id go on, but i think ive made my point...
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