well just for the record, i was not generalizing...i was just sharing a situation that i went through w/ an ex and his ex gf's and why it bothered me. i have good intuition and i can always tell when a guy is doing that (what i talked about in my first post) i didn't say that ALL ppl who are friends w/ their ex's are doing that. i said that in most cases im sure it's cool. it all depends on the person and it has nothing to do with being insecure, it's called human nature. it just has to do with who you are and how you deal with things. i am kinda on the same wave length as tranzmit. my relationships are pretty intense and so it's weird to remain friends after a break up. especially when there was a lot of intimacy involved. i like to move on. i am definately still friends w/ guys i just dated briefly. that's a little different

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

I dated a girl in college. Beautiful girl...looked like a Barbie doll. She started cheating on me with this guy after I left college and went home. During Christmas I go to a club and see her. I run up to her and I'm like Caroline! The girl says, "No...I'm Elizabeth her twin sister."

No need to mention...me and Elizabeth have been together for over 2 years now.

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Omni

AKA

CanUHearIt

quote:

Originally posted by hypronix yeah... but doesn't it hurt more? like if she breaks up with me, but says "hey, we can still be friends"... it just makes it hard as hell... especially if U're not used of seein' her like anything else but the loved one... seein' her, smiling, laughing... I don't even take into consideration a new boyfriend... her breaking up is like showing me I am not good... everything I stand for, I represent is wrong... what's the reason in livin' afterwards that? 'bout jealousy, this is generally stupid. not always... let's just say there are different levels of jealousy, and there's at least one that might find a justification, but not this type. Jealous ppl are often dangerous, and if not they are the best... (not gonna get into this now...) yeah... some say "we can still be friends" out of pity, or try and make the other one better... I think it's something cruel...

Hypronix,
I guess it also kinda depends on what kind of relationship you had.... a lot of my past relationships were just time-passers, you know the kind where its not love, but you both like each other. That combined with a mutual-breakup (no one is getting "dumped") = friends afterward. For some reason this just happened to me a lot. We went out for awhile for "fun", but really didnt' love each other. So after awhile the fun isn't there anymore (in the relationship atmosphere), so we decide just to remain friends... and of course after you know them THAT well, the initial attraction isn't there (well not always anyway). Combine that with the fact that i am madly in love with my current girlfriend, and my ex's aren't an issue. No, i never bring them up in conversation with faye b/c there is no reason to. I virtually never hang out with the ex's, but talk to them on the phone occasionally to see how they're doin, get advice, etc.... If any one of my ex's had destructive advice or bad intentions, then i wouldn't talk to them anymore. But the fact is that all my ex's have boyfriends of their own now. That's even better in this situation b/c it eliminates any uncomfortability that i would have talking to them.

Again i believe it comes down to the circumstances of each relationship. I'm not saying its good to be friends with your ex's, or bad, i'm just saying given the right circumstances, it is not necessarily destructive. If you get emotionally involved hardcore (like jamie and hypronix said), then i guess it would be better off if you never talked to them again.

-ABT-

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Peace.

quote:

Originally posted by ABTsportsline Hypronix, I guess it also kinda depends on what kind of relationship you had.... a lot of my past relationships were just time-passers, you know the kind where its not love, but you both like each other. That combined with a mutual-breakup (no one is getting "dumped") = friends afterward -ABT-

I know that, I've been in that kind of things sometimes, we were (and still are) best friends, so I know that...

but for example, the girl I am with right now (and hopefully be with till I die...don't laugh or say it's the age, please...), we've known only as lovers, not as friends.

and it's too much to handle afterwards... (I was particularizing)

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Kultified TrancEr