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EliPsE
Gabi Diva

Registered: Jul 2002
Location: North Jersey
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Aug-05-2005 19:11
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tiffgrooves
Junior tranceaddict
Registered: Jan 2005
Location: Chicago
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I think if you're looking to change your experience of a place you may want to start with your attitude. Posting a topic called "DC Sucks" isn't going to get you empathy or friends. It's going to make people defensive, and the people you offend aren't going to offer to help you see a change. I've started over twice in the last year and a half, and it's hard regardless of where you land. You think DC is repetitive, pretentious, and unkind?!? Try Boston! Like banging your head against a brick wall, but I left with some great friends because I worked my arse off to find them and make them my friends.
The problem with any new place is that people already have their lives in order. They're not likely going to make the extra effort to make certain that they include you in their plans. Being the new kid means hunting out spots where people share you interests, making yourself vulnerable, and exerting 90% of the effort until you find your groove/clique/whatever. It takes time, patience, and resilence. Truthfully, a good start would have been posting a topic; such as, "Seeking advice in DC". People are extremely helpful if you just ask (without attacking). I used Friendster when I first relocated to Boston, and the people I call friends can be traced back to those original circles.
If what you've been doing hasn't been working, try something else. But you really should open yourself up...because jaded isn't going to attract any quality friends. (Except the kind that sit around and bitch about other people as a hobby.) And I hope this doesn't sound condenscending because it's not meant to be. I've just been there, and have learned a few things.
Best of luck.
___________________
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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Aug-07-2005 04:50
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Trancer-X
mutatis mutandis

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Shambhala
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| quote: | Originally posted by tiffgrooves
I think if you're looking to change your experience of a place you may want to start with your attitude. Posting a topic called "DC Sucks" isn't going to get you empathy or friends. It's going to make people defensive, and the people you offend aren't going to offer to help you see a change. I've started over twice in the last year and a half, and it's hard regardless of where you land. You think DC is repetitive, pretentious, and unkind?!? Try Boston! Like banging your head against a brick wall, but I left with some great friends because I worked my arse off to find them and make them my friends.
The problem with any new place is that people already have their lives in order. They're not likely going to make the extra effort to make certain that they include you in their plans. Being the new kid means hunting out spots where people share you interests, making yourself vulnerable, and exerting 90% of the effort until you find your groove/clique/whatever. It takes time, patience, and resilence. Truthfully, a good start would have been posting a topic; such as, "Seeking advice in DC". People are extremely helpful if you just ask (without attacking). I used Friendster when I first relocated to Boston, and the people I call friends can be traced back to those original circles.
If what you've been doing hasn't been working, try something else. But you really should open yourself up...because jaded isn't going to attract any quality friends. (Except the kind that sit around and bitch about other people as a hobby.) And I hope this doesn't sound condenscending because it's not meant to be. I've just been there, and have learned a few things.
Best of luck. |
Well said, Tiff! 
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Aug-07-2005 06:51
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