|
Did you hear about the two gay Irishmen?
Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald
Q: Did you hear about the Irish lamp post?
A: It peed on the dog.
Q: Where does an Irish person go on a vacation?
A: A new bar
Q: Have you heard about the Irish abortion clinic?
A: There's a 12-month waiting list.
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.
When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!"
"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look.
"The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."
AND ONE MORE!!!!
Two Irishmen, Patrick and Michael, were adrift on a lifeboat following a
dramatic escape from a burning freighter.
While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an
old lamp.
Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.
To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth.
This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one
wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the
entire Ocean into Guinness!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the
entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of Guiness on the hull broke the stillness as the
two men considered their circumstances.
Michael looked disgustingly at Patrick whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke.
"Nice going Patrick! ... Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!!!"
___________________
spacetribe!
|
