quote:

Originally posted by Time2Burn Always tell the truth but at times people don't need to know the "whole" truth.

Just so everyone knows, there's a difference between honestly and being 'honest and entirely forthcoming.' I not sure, I think "candor" is the word.

Honestly is simply not lying or disceiving someone -- you don't have to be being entirely forthcoming with information.

ie.

If I see my recent ex and I ask her "How you doing?"

She says "Wonderful."

^^ Now, with that very basic example, say she was getting married and didn't mention it to me.

She hasn't been untruthful or not honest with me. I never asked her if she was getting married. She simply didn't mention it. She did not HAVE to mention why she was feeling so wonderful.

She was being entirely honest with me. She could have shown more forthcomingness by mentioning this significant event that was making her feel wonderful, if she had wanted to.

But as someone said, what purpose would that serve? Maybe she knew it'd upset me if I knew and was still trying ot get over her... or maybe she just didn't want to tell me for other reasons.

We just gotta make sure we distinguish between someone being truthful, and someone not being entirely forthcoming (w/o being deceiving).

Jem

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quote:

Originally posted by Moral Hazard people claim to want honesty but the truth is that they only want an honest answer if it is comfortable for them to hear. Many times telling someone the truth about a situation or giving them an honest answer can be the worst harm you can do to them.

hmm, i just got plopped into a situation like that last night.

not sure if i should pass on whut i learned. not sure if it'll make the person feel worse for knowing, or if they'll be interested to know, want to know that its happening.

jem

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TECHNO IS THE BEST NOISE ON EARTH.
Save Techno - Stop Minimal / Tech-House

being tactless and completely honest may hurt and be a bit abrasive in the short term, but in the end is probably the best policy. if a person can't deal with the truth, then it's a matter of how strong they are. i dunno monkey, maybe telling your friend the truth about the marriage is the best way to go!

i'd rather have close friends cut the bullshit and tell me straight up.

Pork

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hello thar

Which is the point I am trying to get across...

If you are having a converstation with a person and you are excited and happy about something in your life and then the other person will put it down...then say, I am just being honest...


Why do people make comments like this? Cause they are just being honest???

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quote:

Originally posted by Porky being tactless and completely honest may hurt and be a bit abrasive in the short term, but in the end is probably the best policy. if a person can't deal with the truth, then it's a matter of how strong they are. i dunno monkey, maybe telling your friend the truth about the marriage is the best way to go! i'd rather have close friends cut the bullshit and tell me straight up. Pork

Thanks Pork, but I don't actually have a friend that is getting married, I am just using it as an example to see how other people think negative comments are taken as honesty.

Received many negative comments over the course of 2005 and trying to deal with them in appropriate manors in the year to come. Not to let things get to me and see positive in people. I tend to be a fairly happy person at times and alot of people like to burst my bubble and tear down my walls...

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quote:

Originally posted by Killah Monkey Thanks Pork, but I don't actually have a friend that is getting married, I am just using it as an example to see how other people think negative comments are taken as honesty. Received many negative comments over the course of 2005 and trying to deal with them in appropriate manors in the year to come. Not to let things get to me and see positive in people. I tend to be a fairly happy person at times and alot of people like to burst my bubble and tear down my walls...

What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger - Frederick Nietzsche

there's a difference between negative comments and honesty. if someone is actually being honest with one of your flaws, you just have to accept it and move on. if they're just being an ass, take the high road and just move on.

be strong monkey!

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hello thar

I think I do tend to do that...

Then climb a tree and throw bananas at em... woot...woot!!!

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Last edited by Killah Monkey on Jan-05-2006 at 20:14

Honesty is my only policy.. In your example if they ask they get the truth, if they don't ask I don't say anything..

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