Well, it's not House at all. The kick is very weak. The tune overall is very weak too.

The melody doesn't reach me either. Phatten it up.


Imo the version with the vocals had a much better drive.

You should use an auto-tuner though, regarding previous posts about the lead and the vocals not being perfectly in tune everywere.

So, switch back.

And ffs make it Trance if you want to! As an amateur-producer in the start of his career you will have to do what YOU like. That's the best start. Don't create music for others to listen to. Create music for you to listen to. That way, you will create your own style and start to innovate. That is of course, if you are a beginner...

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Sebastian Zander - Hotel Chaplin
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Last edited by PutBoy on Apr-22-2006 at 22:31

i like them all lol

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quote:

ALFI - BOHICA - DJ MIX (Stream+Dropbox)

Given this a listen.

Musically it has some nice things going on and you have some good skills.

The genre that this falls into isn't really important but when people have said it's cheese, what I think they mean is that this sounds like it's written for a mainstream nightclub and designed to get a broader appeal.

In terms of your identity, the track does lack something to make it stand out as being anything other than a pop record, and at this stage it's not the vocals that are at fault.

Whilst I'm not the best person to comment on technical ability my thoughts are as follows:

The track feels cluttered, i.e. there is no room made for the vocal. Perhaps try some parts where you drop elements out of it to allow for better vocal delivery. You really need to try and avoid that singover effect.

During the verse try dropping everything out except percussion and bass and then see what you can get away with putting back in. But keep it a bit more simple as you are telling the core of the story here. This is where you are informing the listener as to what's on your mind.

For the bridge start putting more sounds back in but make the vocal less complicated, at this point you are building up to drop your bombshell, so if somethings repeated vocally you are suggesting anticipation but not giving too much away.

Lead sounds generally should be avoided whilst vocal is actually carrying out a more complexed delivery. During lead you can get away with longer drawn out lyrics that repeat for example as it's less work for the listener.

A good example as to what I'm talking about is Agnelli & Nelson 'Holding onto Nothing'.

Some of the other points that the guys have brought up are also relevant.

I would also possibly look at creating a catchy hook to go with the vocal as it will reinforce itself in the minds of the listeners much more.

To summarise,
This track has never been a house track in my eyes at any stage from what I hear.
I also agree with the statement, if you want to write trance do it, you are halfway there anyways, feck it, go the whole way. Just because the people round your way only like house, why be a big fish in a little pond? Go global!!!!!

You also have some good skills and a great vocalist so the sky is the limit for you.

Cheers
Nem

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Thanks for the tips. The song is comletely different now, though.
I won't post it for fear that I might change my mind about it again!
People around me liked it every step of the way, and more so on the current incarnation, so I'll leave it at that. I used it as my entry piece into a sound program at a film school... who knows, I might just remix it a few more times...

Peace.

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i like the vocals

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am i the only one who doesn't hear vocals in the new version
anyways very nice track man
OLD VERSION RULEEESS BTW

I havn't listened to it (i'm at work) but just remember to take a break from it for a while. Maybe work on some other stuff, that way you can come back to with different ears.

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quote:

Originally posted by djglacial I'll repost the vocals so you can hear it. http://www.djglacial.com/files/DJ%2...d%20Version.mp3 [edit] Done, link above.

this mix is pretty good, the hihat swing is a little off from the swing on the bass line, the 700 hz -2 khz region is a little hot, and the compression makes it a little shrill, not that bad though different speakers / monitors will accent that differently.

personal preferences here

the bass line is too low in the mix,should be closer to the kick level,

I really like the track though, the vocals are great. I'd kill to find a similar vocalist.

ah-ha, the bass levels are better at the end of the track, your ducking or sidechaining the compression, if you can keep that balance while adding in everything else, maby reduce the overall volume of the mid high stuff, then pull off the compression ratio so you get hot peaks cutting through, but leave more room for the rest of everything.

So I'd reccomend using a different swing hihat sample, and then re-working the compression / mix of everything that isn't the percussion / bass part of the mix.

But it's a great track man, these subtleties are more just personal preference.

Man it would be cool to do a remix with those vocals xD.

r0k on

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