|
Pulling humor from Uranus
Posted by Ryland on March 21, 2005
comments (15) permalink printable « back to IM hijinks
Matt: My hate-o-meter is at its highest possible setting today.
Ryland: Your horoscope reads: "Today is a good day to kill someone. An interesting thing is happening in Uranus."
Matt: Uranus jokes are always funny.
Ryland: they never get old, do they
Matt: The best joke ever would be to show someone getting hit in the balls with a planet from a model solar system and then have someone say "He slammed his cock into Uranus!"
Ryland: Maybe if I saw the video... but that doesn't sound like the best joke ever
Ryland: because he didn't really slam his cock into it
Matt: It's a work in progress.
Matt: What if he tripped?
Ryland: and plus it hit him in the balls, so it would be like "He slammed his balls into Uranus!"
Ryland: which goes beyond humor into bizarre fetish porn
Matt: It's not easy coming up with the best joke ever. There are going to be setbacks.
Ryland: I'm cutting your joke development budget.
Matt: You can't do that!
Matt: It's these damn budget cuts that are keeping me from being funny in the first place!
Ryland: Maybe you can pull some extra funding out of Uranus. BOOYAH
Matt: Laugh away, jizz-face. We'll see who gets the last laugh.
Matt: I'll be laughing all the way to Uranus!
Ryland: Now you're getting somewhere!
Matt: That's right! I'm getting into . . . Uranus!
Ryland: You could develop it into a comedy bit much like "Who's on first"
Ryland: Two guys in a spaceship, going to Uranus
Matt: Who's going to touch Uranus first?
Ryland: I'm not setting foot on Uranus without my space suit.
Matt: I've heard Uranus smells horrible.
Ryland: Sir, instruments detect some kind of gaseous emissions coming from Uranus!
Matt: ^^^classic
Matt: You'll note that these rings were caused by a vast amount of matter being ejected from Uranus.
Ryland: YES
Matt: We just solved comedy.
Ryland: Funding reinstated.
Matt: Turned out the funding really DID come out of Uranus!
Matt: I mean . . . um, my . . . anus.
Matt: Hey, have you noticed that "Uranus" sounds a lot like "Your Anus"?
Matt: Wow, those jokes up there just got a LOT funnier!
Matt: gaseous emissions from YOUR ANUS????? I get it!
Matt: Funny stuff!
Ryland: Funding revoked.
___________________
DALLAS STAR ™ °¤§£¤y°
Treat people as if they are what they ought to be and you may help them to become what they are capable of being.
|
