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President Richard Nixon's comment's on hearing that Hoover had just passed away ("That old cocksucker? We thought he was immortal.") cannot be taken literally, due to Nixon's well-documented predilection for prevarication.

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Danielle Douche, 13, was walking home from boobs surgery. She was very tired, because she had to operate on her own boobs. And because she was only a grade C student she had nothing but a pair of scissors. So she wanted to get fucked. She said "I'm gonna go down to the prostitute zone, and get me a man, with big muscles to match my big boobs". So as she was walking, she met a boy who was Tom Cruise, also thirteen year old, who looked like a nerd and had bone rimmed glasses but had so much muscles everybody forgot about the nerdy face. So she said "Hey gorgeous, wanna get fucked?". he was so surprised because he had never been asked, by a girl, to get fucked, that his answer was "Bleugh", he had fainted. So Danielle took him home and put him on her bed. When he came round, she tried to fuck him. His movements were so jerky that even Father Hover couldn't tell if that was sex or just some unsmooth moves. So she explained to him her body. Afterwards he asked "So what do I do with this floppy potato at the bottom?". So she explained to him the floppy potato and the mushy peas in that shriveled potato skin. So they fucked for a whole week. After that he met her everyday to get fucked & he loved it so much, that he became an actor, so that he could do it more often... The Story of Cruise-Douche

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Download and review ! Omega_M - In the Mix (Beta Version)

Originally posted by twilightki : It feels like something you'd listen to at 4 in the morning, or listen to in your car while you're going in a tunnel.

Communion (Christian)

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If the relationship between the Churches is complete, involving fulness of "those bonds of communion - faith, sacraments and pastoral governance - that permit the Faithful to receive the life of grace within the Church",[1]it is called full communion.The Body Of Christ, unfortunately, constitutes 117% of your RDA of monosodium gleutamine. Moreover, one serving containes 6 mg of aspertine, a carcinogen know to cause many different types of cancer, including pelvic cancer.

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Originally posted by sherifyosti Nopel Prize

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Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Harrier (dog) "Harriers are well-known for their skill at playing Frisbee, owing to their unique Vertical Take-Off and Landing capability."

I had totally forgotten about this thread but ran across it today. I consider it bump-worthy.

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Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Speed of light "The speed of light is approximately 3 miles an hour, to the highest accuracy of modern measuring devices. The first scientest to attempt to calculate the speed of light was Isaac Asimov in 1998 in his famed "Jogger With A Stopwatch" experiment. In that experiment Asimov stood facing away from a standard, 40 watt, light bulb, simultaneously started a stopwatch and flipped a switch activating the light, and then jogged away from the light while looking over his shoulder. He initially started by moving at slow velocities, walking paces, and steadily increased his speed, eventually maxing out at 3mph. Unable to jog faster than 3mph, Asimov simultaneously proved that the speed of light is 3mph and that it is physically impossible for anything in the universe to travel faster than it." These are great.

LOL

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Download and review ! Omega_M - In the Mix (Beta Version)

Originally posted by twilightki : It feels like something you'd listen to at 4 in the morning, or listen to in your car while you're going in a tunnel.

From an entry on the Pope:

"There is also a way that any individual, who is male, above the age of fourteen,a petifile, and catholic, can become Pope. You must kill the Pope and steal his ring an place it upon your own finger. This grants you the legendary "Pope Powers." There are three ways to kill the Pope: 1) Formally challenge the Pope to a duel(You must be well trained to battle the "Pope Powers") 2) Battle up the ranks of the papacy until you reach your final goal of the Pope(Note: It is much easier to formally challenge the Pope, but you can gain papacy powers by defeating those in lower ranks). 3) Assainiate the Pope. It is recommended that you kill the Pope otherwise he may retain his power and come after you. He can only be formally challenged or killed outside the Vatican, or he is otherwise immortal."

From an entry on Socrates:

"After philosophizing for a while, Socrates decided that he was tired of constantly asking questions in response to other questions. Consequently, he decided to form his own rock group, the Socratic Four, which consisted of Aristotle on the drums, Plato on bass, Euclid on lead guitar, and Socrates himself on vocals. The group actually became very successful, touring Greece for about 2 years, and earning god-like status in Athens. At one point, there were plans for a huge mega-concert on Mount Olympus to celebrate the band. However, these plans were cut short when Plato abruptly left the band, citing philosophical differences with Socrates as the major reason for breakup. After the demise of the Socratic Four, Socrates continued to tour with a backup band, performing vocals for the Four's greatest hits."

^^ @ Socrates

I lolled hard.

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Download and review ! Omega_M - In the Mix (Beta Version)

Originally posted by twilightki : It feels like something you'd listen to at 4 in the morning, or listen to in your car while you're going in a tunnel.

Trusting quikopedia is like riding a wave

Walking

Common mistakes

There are a number of mistakes that are common amongst newcomers to walking. These include:

1. Lifting both legs off of the ground at any one point during the basic walking mechanism. Whilst this does induce motion, the motion producing is unfavourable vertical motion due to gravity rather than the horizontal motion normally associated with walking.

2. Forgetting to alternate legs. Although this is not strictly incorrect, it is often frowned upon by society, and can result in embarrasing social situations for the user.

3. Attempting the above steps lying down. Although this may seem a good idea at the time, especially for more relaxed people, it rarely breeds successful results.

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Download and review ! Omega_M - In the Mix (Beta Version)

Originally posted by twilightki : It feels like something you'd listen to at 4 in the morning, or listen to in your car while you're going in a tunnel.

wow, this is an old thread... but still hilarious

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Alcoholic Alliance
The Ecstasy (MDMA) Bible Thread 2.0

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Originally posted by Masonious you win again dude - and nice move shoving the whole i figured out how to order pizza thing in my face. i tried that 4 and a half months ago and woke up with a Taiwanese transvestite but to Ygrene it's just, "anoother day in the life, noooo biggieee".