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Hmmm, what would I do if I were Bush?
1. Install a draft to fight the war in Iraq and upcoming war in Iran I plan to create. When I say things like:
| quote: | | The challenge playing out across the broader Middle East is more than a military conflict. It is the decisive ideological struggle of our time. |
Like I said last night by deploying an additional 21K more troops to Iraq, knowing I am completely stretching my military might so incredibly thin against the advice of a healthy number of military heads (whom I recently replaced, hehe), against the Joint Chiefs of Staff, against the broad majority of Congress (including many Republicans- hell even Brownback is against me dammit!), I need to make sure we are indeed committed as a country. I and a number of my mouthpiece pundits love comparing this war to that of WWII - I think it's high time we understand just how much our country sacrificed during that war and how much we must sacrifice now.
I will for the first time on my presidency ask our country to volunteer for military service. I will call upon our brave young men and women to fight for my cause, despite the dwindling numbers who don't support that cause. I will call upon my Right Wing Noise Machine blowhards to finally do the same for the first time ever - tell their listeners and my avid supporters to enlist. If that does not produce the numbers needed for my ongoing and endless battle, I will call for a draft. We must remember:
| quote: | | The challenge playing out across the broader Middle East is more than a military conflict. It is the decisive ideological struggle of our time. |
This entails sacrifice, and I will make sure everyone understands this sacrifice needed.
I will also try to protect those incoming forces better than I have protected those whom are already there fighting. Things like this will not stand:
| quote: | “The thousands of troops that President Bush is expected to order to Iraq will join the fight largely without the protection of the latest armored vehicles that withstand bomb blasts far better than the Humvees in wide use, military officers said.”
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/na...-iraq-headlines |
I know it's been quite embarrasing how I've seemingly overlooked this protection in the past for my troops. No more.
I will also allow this Congress to attach benchmarks to my troop increase so I can for the first time create marked goals that demonstrate progress towards our own troop withdrawal and the Iraqi government standing on its own two feet.
2. Start balancing the budget and cease raping Social Security and Medicare funds to pay for all of my proposals, including the war on Iraq and tax cuts I continually and endlessly create especially during wartime (unprecedented in history).
3. Cease borrowing the fuck out of everything I do from other countries so I don't force my country into future bankruptcy or force future generations to pay for my tabs I create
4. Start including the War in Iraq in my annual budget so people can once again see how much this war is costing everyone else
5. Any and all immigration policies that I will create will also entail stricter enforcement on those businesses that willingly and illegally hire illegal aliens. Any fencing and makeshift walls I create along the border must be followed by enforcement within our borders. If I am to consider the act of crossing our borders illegally cannot be tolerated, I must also consider the same intolerance to those who illegally harbor those aliens for their own personal business gain. The law is the law is the law.
6. I will cease my continual stripping of funding for those law enforcement and firefighters here in my own country. My previous practicies of this are embarrassing enough, and considering I must stick to my own rhetoric for fighting the War on Terra, I cannot contradict that rhetoric by weakening such forces here in my own country. I will also agree to the new Democratic bills that abide to the 9/11 Commission requests to help strengthen our stance as well.
7. I will rollback my No Child Left Behind bill, because as I have clearly seen my bill has left many children behind. I cannot continue pretending to enforce the bill without the proper funding that I fail to give, let alone know outright that the goal of 100% pass rate on my tests by 2014 was deliberately made to be unattainable and a means to further destroy public schools altogether. I will also acknowledge that the Houston based model to which my bill was created was fraudulent to begin with.
8. I will stop giving corporate welfare to Big Oil companies. Since I am not a believer in the welfare system, I cannot justify giving away tax dollars to these oil companies, especially when it's clearly revealed such revenues given to them was unnecessary.
7. When it's all said and done, I will then resign for creating illegal signing statements attached to Legislative bills, the most recent allowing me to arbitrarily open any mail I choose. That coincides with me also doing the following:
-wiretapping anyone I choose to name an "enemy combatant", circumventing all known FISA laws
-open anyone's email and trace their internet connections
-name anyone I choose as an "enemy combatant" and locked them up indefinitely without a right to trial (i.e. Habeas Corpus), and torture those individuals with arbitrarily defined by, uhh, me
-claim AUMF powers to invade any country I choose in the name of "War on Terra"
-send any "enemy combatant" I choose to another country to have them interrogated and tortured there (i.e. rendition)
The War on Terror is not a means to give me unlimited Executive Power at the whim of my say-so, despite my lawyers like John Yoo stating otherwise.
I will also rightly apologize in front of Congress for my Administration deliberately misleading us into this war in Iraq with the claims of WMDs, nuclear capability, and al Qaeda connections. I will apologize for withdrawing our attention on bin Laden from our war in Afghanistan, giving that role over to corrupt Afghan warlords, and diverting our attention elsewhere toward Iraq which had nothing to do with the attacks on 9/11.
These are but a few things on my plate, and I will make these ideas plus others known in my 2007 State of the Union Address.
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Whence September dusk grows crisper still,
with leaves all crimson conquered,
I yearn to shout,
and dance about,
and stick pickles in my honker...
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