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Originally posted by jdat some people say the honeymoon phase is when you start going out ... others say it's the first seven years ... what do you all think?

Oh I dunno. When you realize what real love is, it never really goes away. I don't think a lot of people DO know what real love is...just look at divorce rates and the amount of failed relationships in this world. Seems like most people these days are perpetually single and unhappy.


I've personally never just thrown the word around in a relationship, because of the magnitude of what it means to me. But if we're talking about friendship love, or caring love, then yeah I ALWAYS tell my friends/family/bf that I love them. No need to be selfish with expressing love and affection.

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Originally posted by Slylee There is no such thing as love at first sight. True love requires dedication, time, understanding, respect, loyalty, compassion, trust, etc… none of those can be demonstrated to a stranger. The biggest misconception about love in today’s society is that when the “honeymoon phase” dies down, the love has died down. This is false. You have to make an active decision to love. The honeymoon phase is basically out of your control. Raging hormones taking over your every move and thought…you aren’t really yourself during that time period. When all of that starts to fizzle and you make a strong commitment (let’s say living together), that’s when it starts to take work. That’s when you make the choice to continue loving that person and making the relationship work. Just wanted to get that out of the way. As far as the L word…I use it pretty loosely with friends and family. I think everyone should. I have a lot of love to give and have no problem telling my friends and family I love them. As far as when I’m seriously dating someone…when I feel like I might love them, it just depends on the person and situation as far as when and how I tell them, but I generally don't have a problem communicating this. I have said it before in my past and didn’t mean it. I think we all have maybe at some point.

I like reading things like this because I totally agree.


I've seriously loved 2 men within my dating span. I think there is a line between " I love you " and ," I'm in love with you " then people cross without realizing it or meaning it.

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Originally posted by jennypie Oh I dunno. When you realize what real love is, it never really goes away. I don't think a lot of people DO know what real love is...just look at divorce rates and the amount of failed relationships in this world. Seems like most people these days are perpetually single and unhappy. I've personally never just thrown the word around in a relationship, because of the magnitude of what it means to me. But if we're talking about friendship love, or caring love, then yeah I ALWAYS tell my friends/family/bf that I love them. No need to be selfish with expressing love and affection.

I like you .... a LOT!

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Originally posted by jdat I like you .... a LOT!

LOL

What's sad is that it doesn't mean the same as it used to because it gets over used or gets said but has no meaning behind it. I say it when I mean it and that's that.

I love you .

I can't really speak for everyone because nothing I've actually heard from other people seems to reflect this view, but there have been several women in my life whom I would say that I have loved and actually meant it - and one of the most significant parts of me still does.

I've had relationships formed out of infatuation, so I can recognize the difference, but I have also loved women I've been close with. I don't believe those feelings ever truly go away. Things just don't change like that for me.

A friend once told me that people don't change, they only get worse at hiding their true selves and I have contemplated this for quite some time and not been able to reach any definite conclusion. I have come to realize though, that being in love makes us who we are and suppressing it is one of the only true sins that exist.

I completely understand how some people view it as a burden - it's not easy loving people sometimes, and as others have said, it takes a great deal of patience and empathy and dedication. Sometimes it comes fast, sometimes it comes painfully slow, but for me, once it's there, it doesn't just 'disappear'. I'm not saying I could ever be in a relationship with any of these people ever again - some didn't really 'end' so well, but those people made me who I am - and I love them for it.

___________________
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Biggest problem I've encountered is with virgins. After I lost mine, and after taking a few. I realize that there exists a confusion about love for the person you have intercourse with first.
There is a bond there yes, but I don't feel that it is love in MOST cases. Of course I'm not saying that in every instance people have lost virginities to someone they don't neccessarily love. But if they don't and it happens then they mistake that bond for love.

...man that's a confusing paragraph.

ahhhhh yes, infatuation. I think some people, ( yes I have done this as well ) confuse love with infatuation. I actually did have a successfully relationship that came from infatuation but I think for the most part people get infatuated with someone but try and turn it into love when really it's only an infatuation and nothing more. Sometimes it takes a while to even realize this if you ever do, and when you do it kinda sucks, but at the same time it's a reality check too.

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On I can't really speak for everyone because nothing I've actually heard from other people seems to reflect this view, but there have been several women in my life whom I would say that I have loved and actually meant it - and one of the most significant parts of me still does. I've had relationships formed out of infatuation, so I can recognize the difference, but I have also loved women I've been close with. I don't believe those feelings ever truly go away. Things just don't change like that for me. A friend once told me that people don't change, they only get worse at hiding their true selves and I have contemplated this for quite some time and not been able to reach any definite conclusion. I have come to realize though, that being in love makes us who we are and suppressing it is one of the only true sins that exist. I completely understand how some people view it as a burden - it's not easy loving people sometimes, and as others have said, it takes a great deal of patience and empathy and dedication. Sometimes it comes fast, sometimes it comes painfully slow, but for me, once it's there, it doesn't just 'disappear'. I'm not saying I could ever be in a relationship with any of these people ever again - some didn't really 'end' so well, but those people made me who I am - and I love them for it.

I agree, especially since I believe love is mostly a selfless act. The whole notion of denying someone love just because you don't like them anymore or whatever seems ridiculous and childish to me.

let's not forget that love is a subjective feeling.

there's no like... ultimate truth for love. each person feels it in different ways/degrees/scenarios/etc.

edit: one may say they are in love, and you look at it and say they're not. but to them that's what love is, while to you it's not.

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Originally posted by Frenchie ahhhhh yes, infatuation. I think some people, ( yes I have done this as well ) confuse love with infatuation. I actually did have a successfully relationship that came from infatuation but I think for the most part people get infatuated with someone but try and turn it into love when really it's only an infatuation and nothing more. Sometimes it takes a while to even realize this if you ever do, and when you do it kinda sucks, but at the same time it's a reality check too.

and did you just call me fat?

Another thing I want to touch on is the fact that you can’t love someone until you love yourself. It’s 100% true and I think that is the reason for lots of failed relationships...people not loving themselves before getting involved. You can’t really look for someone to fill in negative gaps of yourself that you are completely capable of filling yourself. I could go into detail with this statement but whatever, it’s self explanatory.

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

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Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone