:blinks:

Did you take a bath in retard bubbles?

quote:

Originally posted by Frenchie :blinks and scratches head:

Fixed.

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LOL I actually DID scratch my head but because it was itchy not because it was retarded lol.
Are you watching me?

quote:

Originally posted by Frenchie Are you watching me?

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10 dudes walk out on stage.

1 says to the other.

I'm better than you.

The other 9 reply back.

No, WE are better than YOU.

Moral: Collectively, 9 dudes are better than 1. Strength of numbers.

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jake walks out of Toi Thai.

jake sees a homeless black lady yelling, so it must be interesting.

jake approaches scene.

homeless lady yells at headless model in the window.

"YO AINT NO MODEL. YO AINT GOT NO HEAD! YO AINT THAT PRETTY! YO AINT NEVA BE FAMOUS"

headless model doesn't reply.

jake laughs.

no one else watches.

jake leaves with his fried rice and not with the black lady.

[edit]
I guess I'm even less funny than the thread starter since my 30 second something got NO attention or responses. You know what...I'm never funny on TA. I hate you all.

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Last edited by Jake Benson on Apr-21-2007 at 04:40

12 yr old girl walks u.s.r to d.s.l. half-way through stops looks around shivers. mumbles to self

"i just got that feeling again"

as she reaches d.s.l. man in pedobear suits apears from d.s.l. side-curtain and pulls her back in with him.

*Brian looked confused. What exactly did Allan just say?

Well the truth is allan said hi im alan, then mid sentence his mouth got swapped with his arse and he shat his face.

He continued to sprout meaningless words.



The end.

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Check out my Mashups on Soundcloud

quote:

Originally posted by Jake Benson

I know exactly who you're talking about.

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quote:

Originally posted by bas I know exactly who you're talking about.

Really? She's a homeless regular? Or just wandered from down town? Maybe I should stroll down Sunset more often this time with my camera.

___________________
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From a college show I was writing:

The Hockey Guys sit at a lunch table.

HOCKEY GUY #1
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, a golf club?

HOCKEY GUY #2
I’m telling you Suzie is a complete whore. The girl can’t get enough.

HOCKEY GUY #3
Well yeah, I mean you used a goddamn sand wedge.

MATT
Wait, wait. Don’t tell me you…

HOCKEY GUY #2
No you fucking rookie, the goddamn handle. I don’t see how it’s different than... I don't know, a dildo or some other fucking thing.

MATT
Remind me to never go golfing with you.

HOCKEY GUY #2
Anyways, as I was saying, we were going at it on the bed and Ray was just going to town with that damn handle.

HOCKEY GUY #3
She was lovin' it.

HOCKEY GUY #2
You better fucking believe she was. So then I get the idea to try and get some of the spectators…

MATT
Whoa, whoa, wait a second. There were guys in on this?

HOCKEY GUY #2
Jesus Christ. Yes, in the goddamned cloest… Anyways, Conner, Travis, and Mick here are all in the closet. I’m feeling generous and want to spread the wealth. So I say ‘You know what Suz, I feel bad for using Conner’s clubs without him here, you mind if he comes and joins us?’

HOCKEY GUY #3
(laughing)
This is priceless.

CONNER remains silent. Barely holds back his rage.

HOCKEY GUY #2
So she goes,
(in a high pitch voice)
‘Conner?! Creepy Conner?’

CONNER
Slut.

HOCKEY GUY #2
True, but so CONNER, being the hothead he is can’t resist.

CONNER
Fuck you.

HOCKEY GUY #2
Suddenly we hear ‘You slut!’ from the closet.

The Guys laugh.

HOCKEY GUY #3
Priceless.

HOCKEY GUY #2
So then all the guys in the closet start laughing and the Suzinator is like wtf mate? The guys bust out of the closet, just absolutely dying and book out the room.

HOCKEY GUY #3
I almost pissed myself.

MATT
So what’d she do?

HOCKEY GUY #2
You kidding me? The Suzinator doesn’t leave a job until it’s done.

Patrick approaches the table as they hockey guys laugh their heads off.

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Lost Souls