quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter It appears she wants out of the marriage. She told you that she cheated on you (it may be true, or not) in the hopes that it would make you more amicable to terminating the marriage, and thus (perversely) she will feel less guilty about leaving.

+1

damn enferno!

i feel for you mate, be strong and keep moving forward. time will eventually heal everything so go slow and don't react right away. let yourself sort things out...and if anything you have the c0r to unleash any pent up anger you got inside...

hey i do it all the time hehe =)

___________________
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JUST ME N YOU

This is definitely generalizing, but I would imagine it’s more true than not. But usually when women cheat, it’s due to the fact that they are feeling emotionally/mentally neglected. Men usually cheat for the sex part only. I think I’ve read that a few times in msn stories with psychologist interviews and stuff like that. Made sense to me.

___________________

My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

i have a hard time comprehending that she cheated on you once and now she feels so guilty that she wants out.. If i cheated on my husband, i would feel beyond worthless, but i would still love him and i would be honest with him, spend the rest of my life making it up to him, and do whatever it takes to get his trust and respect back, not to mention trying to keep our marriage together for my kids sake and ours. So i could be terribly wrong (and i hope i am) but like moral touched on, there could be something else going on that she isn't telling you about. I'm a firm believer in forgivness and working problems out, but when it comes to cheating i draw the line when they cheat with no intention to stop. I hope you figure things out, and get some REAL answers, because nobody deserves to be jerked around like that and in regards to coping, when things started getting tough in my relationship, i started to try new things and start new routines that didn't involve the other party. Good luck-

options in a simple manner as I see it:

If she want to fix it you can forgive or breakup

if she doesnt not want to fix it there is nothing to do BUT cope.

After that its just the dirty work

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee This is definitely generalizing, but I would imagine it’s more true than not. But usually when women cheat, it’s due to the fact that they are feeling emotionally/mentally neglected. Men usually cheat for the sex part only. I think I’ve read that a few times in msn stories with psychologist interviews and stuff like that. Made sense to me.

that's usually the case, but not always.



especially with you nympho girls.

Wow, that really sucks. I too used to think that cheating was something you couldn't forgive, but it's really whether or not you think you could ever forgive. Once you get married and have children... breaking apart that life together is something really hard to do. You have to decide if you CAN forgive her.

Honestly you two need to sit down and have a chat [with a marriage counselor]. Figure out why she cheated in the first place. Was she feeling neglected, scared of how much her life has changed now that she's married, has a kid? Cheating isn't acceptable and I'm not saying any of those things are excuses but people do stupid things when they're terrified.

Recently we found out my uncle left my aunt after 23 years of marriage because he's been having an affair for the past 10 years of it! Imagine that! I don't know how you could live with yourself.

Best of luck.

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly I don't know how you could live with yourself.

You shouldnt if you get my drift.

quote:

Originally posted by Orbax You shouldnt if you get my drift.

yea no shit. that brings a whole new meaning to "fucked up". and how can u not see the signs of an affair for ten years??

___________________

My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee yea no shit. that brings a whole new meaning to "fucked up". and how can u not see the signs of an affair for ten years??

She worked a lot later than him. And my family's been through a lot the past couple of years, so I could actually see how you can be blindsided by that. It was fucked up. He just announced it one day, then moved in with the affair chick. Now he calls my aunt "just to talk". Wtf dude, you've done enough damage.

damn that's shitty.

___________________

My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone