"Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened." - Lovely

hey at least you all had luck finding a GF...i am a sorry excuse for a guy...

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I'm sorry bro, i think break-up is the worse thing ever. I rather have my legs broken. I loved this girl named Autumn, still love her, Dated her for 6 month and had plans for future and everything but she left me, for reason that really broke my heart: She wanted to do drugs without having me complaining about it (I'm strongly against drugs), more then that a week later she got a job at the club i go twice a week. The club i went for a year before she even knew about it. I know she cares for me and everything but fuck, what she did is just WRONG. I dont have faith in women anymore. Nice guys DO finish last and yes, everything does happen for a reason.

quote:

"Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened." - Lovely

Yeah, nice one. Good advice.

I don't normally post in threads like this, because I don't really have any advice to give, but I would like to say something here. I think that quote above sums my stance up pretty nicely actually: you were lucky to be in that position in the first place. Look at me for instance: I have had girlfriends, I've had plenty of one night encounters (though none of either for a while unfortunately) but never, once, have I come close to feeling in love with any female that I've met. I mean sure, I have female friends who I care for and I suppose that I "cared" for all the girls I've been involved with in some way, but nothing that you'd call "love". And it is depressing: any time I do come close to thinking that I may be falling in love, I either fuck it up or change my mind, the result being that I haven't yet been in a relationship for longer than 3 months.

And I was thinking the other day, that I'm turning 19 in 2 days and still haven't had a meaningful relationship with a girl: my parents met when they were 19. They were living together abroad by the time they were 21. Now I'm not saying that just because it was right for them that it should be right for me, but it's still kinda depressing to think that I'm nowhere near acheiving that level of inter-dependancy. I'm also struggling to think of any places this sort of emotion will come from: is there anyone alive today that I can possibly fall in love with? It saddens me to say it, but the longer time goes on, the more I doubt it.

The thing about all of you who have opened up here, is that you are capable of reaching that level of feeling for another human being: you possess something I don't. Now I don't believe in this "soul-mate", "one-girl-for-each-guy" nonsense. It's the capacity of the individual to give into themselves and fall in love with someone else that matters, not destiny, or any sort of a spiritual thing. Some people are naturally inclined to meeting and falling in love with people of the opposite sex, others are not. Just think about this: picture the love you felt for those girls. Bottle that feeling right there. Feel good? I should like to think so. Then, really dig deep down and ask youself: where did that love come from? Did she inspire it in you? Did her mere presence cause you to fall in love? Or was it that the love was within you all the time? That that passion was lying there dormant within you, waiting for something or someone to bring it out?

Love doesn't just come in and out of existence: it's not something you can just find. It's something that some people are adept at cultivating. It's something that comes from within you. Just take that unreciprocated passion, disassociate it from those who have hurt you, and be aware that they weren't worthy of those feelings in the first place. Use that passion - that emotion - that you feel within you and direct it upon something else: music, your friends, you family, your pets. Don't try to supress it: you're only wasting it. Cultivate it, let it grow. And then, some day, you'll find someone worthy of that emotion. They won't be frightened, they won't abuse it: they will reciprocate. And this is what you have to look forward to, regardless of how empty you feel right now. Somewhere, right now, there is someone capable of feeling the same intensity of emotion just waiting to find you. It may seem like rubbish, but I can guarantee it will happen because that is the kind of person you all are: you will fall in love again, and, perhaps after a few false starts, you will stay in love. Count yourselves lucky: we can't all be so fortunate.

Just remember, when you feel depressed about your love being so violated like this, keep in mind that there are people like me who are likely to meet someone resembling the right person and let them slip right through their fingers without feeling a thousandth of the emotion you're feeling right now.

So, guys, my point is this: not all of us find love, only a lucky few. It may hurt when it is stolen from you, but at least there's a good chance you'll find it all again. Just count yourselves lucky.

Anyway, that's it. I'm emotionally drained. I need a glass of wine, a cig and a bed...... heh, now there's a few things I'd be happy to fall in love with.

quote:

"she's too busy for a boyfriend right now". I don't exactly know what that means (any girls care to explain?)

well, i really dont think this is just a girl thing. i dated a guy who said the exact same thing to me.. (and for the record, he was a "nice guy", it took me awhile to realize how much he kicked ass, and HE is the one who broke up with me.. so maybe nice girls finish last too eh?)

anyways, im kind of reaching a point in my life where i am feeling the same thing... so im beginning to understand. im in college, which takes up 99.9% of my life. i live, breathe, and sweat homework/lab time/programs that are due/etc.. and even if i wanted a b/f, i honestly dont think id have time.. since school is and should be my #1 priority. when im not in school, im working. the very little free time i have, im either resting at home or out with friends (barely). thus, im too busy for a boyfriend.

tho i really dont agree with what someone else said, someone saying this does NOT mean that he/she automatically has found someone else. often like i just mentioned, there are real reasons where a partner just cant fit into our time/schedule. the commitment/emotional stress/everything else in a relationship, sometimes can get in the way of school, work, other situations which have to be a higher priority for some people.

oh, and one more thing:

quote:

Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened

this is the exact same thing ex b/f i just mentioned told me when he said he didn't have time, and it was over. reading that again just made me sad. i still want to figure out where that quote is from.

[off-topic]

sothis, I disagree that "labs and lectures" have to be your "#1 priority."

College is all about growing up, learning about life and about yourself, and enjoying youth. This is a perfect time to make new friends, and start new relationships...

[/off-topic]

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Download all my EuroHardTrance traxx & learn more about me ("Kompulsor"):
www.kompulsor.com

i guess, tho this is my third year and im behind in credits (taking all computer science/math/hard 300-400 level classes which require tons of time outside of class each week for programs etc).. ill be lucky if i graduate in 5 year total now just because i fucked around the first two years, and did just what you are talking about.. hung out with friends, partied, whatever.

now im really, really feeling the slap in the face of the choices of my actions... i mean, im not gettin paid to go to college, so its pretty important that i dont waste the thousands of dollars it costs to go here on ruining my education by not focusing on it.

i dunno. maybe if people are an english major or a political science major or something non-difficult, it might be easier to not have school be your #1 priority.. but i dont know any computer science here who doesnt spend the weekends in the labs.. overnighters in the labs, anything to get programs done.

all the "new relationships" and friends things ive dealt with have turned out negative anyways, so it works out fine.

Last edited by sothis on Apr-18-2002 at 19:32

quote:

Originally posted by sothis i guess, tho this is my third year and im behind in credits (taking all computer science/math/hard 300-400 level classes which require tons of time outside of class each week for programs etc).. ill be lucky if i graduate in 5 year total now just because i fucked around the first two years,

im not really in the same position as you are but i TOTALLY screwed my highschool career because i was partying/hanging out with friends/ having absolutely no rules at home..... anyways when i start college my main focus will be my work. ive grown up ALOT in the past 2 years and now im ready to start college and be serious about it. most people go into college thinking "oh party time.. party party party"

but that stage in my life is over.. im not saying that i wont drink every now and then but i dont need to be partying every night of the week, i dont need to live like that again, and i dont want to.

**THIS is totally off topic i just needed to get it off my chest**

quote:

Originally posted by Damo ....nice guys do finish last.

but they enjoy the race more.

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The father made fetuses with flesh licking ladies / While you and your mother were asleep in the trailer park / Thunderous sparks from the dark of the stadiums / The music and medicine you needed for comforting / So make all your fat, fleshy fingers fingers to moving / And pluck all your silly strings and / Bend all your notes for me and / Soft silly music is meaningful, magical / The movements were beautiful / All in your ovaries / All of them milking with green fleshy flowers / While powerful pistons were sugary sweet machines, / Smelling of semen all under the garden / Was all you were needing when you still believed in me.

look at it as: her loss, you gotta get over her...and you eventualy will...time is the great healer.

getting attached to gf sucks in a way if it dont work out....

>JM<