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Buying birthday gifts for a significant other is a tithe of sorts. The value of the gift scales with your income. If you make a hell of a lot of money, you better get her something damn nice. If you ain't got shit comin', then, uh, why the hell are you spending time with your girlfriend anyways? Go work you lazy fuck.
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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
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