Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
And what will they turn out like with parents who end up having a lengthy and tumultuous divorce or custody battle? Any better than if their parents stayed together under a quiet roof with little love for one another? Both situations can elicit problems later on in life, but how people deal with their problems is what shapes who we are. I would not be the same person had my parents stayed together - they did not argue, there was no abuse, they just decided to split somewhat peacefully and found other spouses who created even worse situations. I think my parents actually sort of regret forfeiting what they had together 20+ years ago, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't disagree with you, but I also hold that neither of us is truly in a position to judge this situation fairly. I merely threw out the idea of keeping the family unit together, as it is an option that would prvoide some shred of security for his kids. Maybe there would be little love between parents, but children are a sacrifice at times - who is to say that living conditions would be better or worse for this situation in light of divorce? None of us, that is for sure.
as i am not a child of divorce i cant say i have "experience" in that sense but i have been through it with friends. thankfully the few i have helped them through most have been an amicable divorce but thats not to say there wasnt one or two that were horrible.
i agree with you. really its hard to say what is better. it depends on the situation. so many variables and what not that are unpredictable.
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quote:
Originally posted by bas
Dual exhaust tips on dual exhaust = QUAD EXHAUST = 300 gain in horsepower. Duh
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Originally posted by bas
Undies with a dickhole aren't good for guys. Your balls can get caught in them. That's why I prefer to go over the gate instead of through the fence.
Jan-06-2008 02:35
Lira
Ancient BassAddict
Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Brasilia, Brazil
Re: Falling OUT of love... How do you know?
Tovorish Superman,
I truly believe that love is a process. As such, it won't feel the same throughout your relationship. At times, you will feel more enthusiastic, and there are also some moments in which you're just exhausted. For how long have you been feeling down? What would happen to you if she got married to someone else? Unless you're ready to imagine your life without her, it could just be a phase. It happens.
You've probably noticed that relationship require a lot of work, as no one will ever be your "other half". It takes a lot of talking and "grinding", as though you tried to fit a square inside a round hole.
quote:
Originally posted by emc^2
I realized that there's no cure for religion and its like poison, eating away at our relationship.
Religion almost destroyed my family too
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Jan-06-2008 02:36
Ang ' ela_ie
Gee whiz!
Registered: Jul 2004
Location: SF
quote:
Originally posted by jennypie
I will tell you, that whenever we fight, it stems from boredom and nothing more.
This I can totally relate to.
And honestly, I think that if your wife isnt the same person you married (after all the Jesus crap) then its completely possible to fall out of love. No question.
And more honestly, if I had a husband that pulled that shit on me, Id be out of there in a nanosecond. Jesus is one thing I dont do.
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Jan-06-2008 02:38
tranceDJ
The Music Tickles My Ears
Registered: Feb 2001
Location: USA
Re: Re: Falling OUT of love... How do you know?
quote:
Originally posted by Lira
Religion almost destroyed my family too
To sum up religion, it has the power and ability to both bring people together but also the power to separate them...unfortunately the latter is more often the case.
Jan-06-2008 02:40
Dj O'Callaghan
The UKTA Triggerman
Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Northampton UK
Re: Falling OUT of love... How do you know?
quote:
Originally posted by emc^2
How do you know you're falling out of love? Could constant bickering and fighting and spite be just something temporary, a phase? Or is it the beginning of the end? I think after 6 very happy and 1.5 quite miserable years with my wife (not my kids) I think I'm just about ready to check out. I realized that there's no cure for religion and its like poison, eating away at our relationship. It obviously carries more significance for her than it does for me and these skirmishes are killing me. I hate coming home lately, yesterday I just crashed at the office couch and stayed at work...
dunno. obviously I'll get my share of "buttsexx fixes everything" or "your whaaaaambulance has arrived" comments, but hoping to find some peer advise amidst the usual CORe callousness.
thoughts?
It's a lose/lose situation in some ways I'm afraid mate.
You decide to leave you get a divorce your going to get financially taken to cleaners, plus rights for fathers still suck these days. However your kids won't have to put up with bullshit arguements and the constant nit picking, which happens when a marriage is on the rocks.
Or you can last out however you can never guarantee things will get back to the way they were. Perhaps it's a communication problem who knows? Just don't let your kids grow up in a volatile atmosphere, as they get older they'll remember more too. In return it'll affect them a lot more.
I'd suggest you test the waters stay put for 6 months - a year if it grows unbearable throw in towel. The rest from there plays on being a good father to your kids as divorce will hit them for six, you can expect them being angry at you for the idea of the family being broken up.
If it ends tit's up be civil, keep to arrangements and the minute you have someone else in your life keep them seperate from your home life with your kids. Trust me it'll take them a long time to get use to someone.
My parents got divorced when I was seven because they didn't get along and also due to the fact my father has a big problem with alcohol. I've seen the mistakes they've made along the way.
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Jan-06-2008 03:00
Turbonium
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Jan 2003
Location: Toronto
Take her to McDonald's.
Jan-06-2008 04:59
Arbiter
Naked Power Organ
Registered: May 2002
Location:
Love is only an idea -- if you believe you are in love, then you are in love, because that's what love is. Therefore, the opposite is true too: if you believe you are no longer in love, then you are necessarily correct.
Jan-06-2008 06:29
Zewad
This is my custom status.
Registered: Nov 2002
Location: Earth
quote:
Originally posted by Arbiter
Love is only an idea -- if you believe you are in love, then you are in love, because that's what love is. Therefore, the opposite is true too: if you believe you are no longer in love, then you are necessarily correct.
so simple, yet so true... truth is in the eye of teh beholder
you have no one to convince but yourself
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Jan-06-2008 06:33
L.E.N.
Rippin' and a Tearin'
Registered: Dec 2004
Location: Been Pullin out since '93 OCTA#9 / LATA #57
If you feel the need to " stay away " just to feel better than you might be ready for a new path. I spent 8 years with my ex. I agree with the boredom factor. Sometimes its just the same thing everyday. I didnt have to deal with nagging or religion. We just grew apart. I would have left long before if that was the case. The thing about religion is, there is no way of rationalizing with them. Its a belief. If its something you just cant get into it will cause problems and there wont be a cure. Boredom is easier to work out but religion is black and white. Either you agree or you dont. That will always be an issue unless you buckle and follow someone elses ideas. Peace of mind is priceless IMO, it may hurt for a while to make a change but in the long run its the best move you can make, kids or not.
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Jan-06-2008 06:58
pkcRAISTLIN
arbiter's chief minion
Registered: Jul 2002
Location:
make her watch something like this
what a fucking legend.
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Jan-06-2008 06:59
Halcyon+On+On
Liebchen
Registered: Sep 2004
Location: midcoast
I like how people are still comparing Charles Manson to God. What a legend.
//hahahahaha, the fucking end of the video. Perfect.
"Peace to everyone - especially Xtians with guns who support the death penalty" lololol
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Jan-06-2008 07:33
noikeee
dubstep convert
Registered: Apr 2002
Location: lost and wandering looking for directions.
quote:
Originally posted by Turbonium
Take her to McDonald's.
Send her a letter inviting her to a date at McDonalds.
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