quote:

Originally posted by Capitalizt Studies have shown that by forcing yourself to smile, you actually alter your brain chemistry...exciting certain areas and changing your mood. In other words, you actually BECOME happier simply by forcing yourself to smile. Try putting on a big fake ass smile next time you see someone, and tell yourself that it's a big fake ass smile. You will probably laugh about it..and wallah! You're actually happy.

I've done some personal studies of my own that show when I force myself to yell at someone for no reason, that actually alters my brain chemistry as well and I actually BECOME happy knowing I've made a socially awkward situation.

These "studies" fail to take into account this phenomenon called "habituation." Sure if you force a subject whose being paid 50 dollars to participate in a study to smile, they'll feel good inside afterward. But if you tell an employee to smile and they have to smile 40 hours a week for months, a smile will eventually lose this physiologial-psychological connection.

Think of it this way, forcing a smile is like trying to orgasm every 30 minutes: you just can't do it, although some people genuinely can, and good for them...meanwhile just do it when you want to, not when others want you to (unless you are a prostitute, as most customer service reps are).

I don't know why but American culture seems to be fascinated with being in a good mood and smiling all the time, as if that's the human default behavior. It's not. Default is happy, sad, angry, indifferent, ambivalent, etc. at different times. I notice people from other cultures don't have this "let me smile you to death with my crunk service." They just sit there and look at me like "what? what the fuck do you want?" And that's way more genuine in my opinion.

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Last edited by Jake Benson on Jan-12-2008 at 10:11

haha

tonight i was at a bar alone where chloe was playing. the opening dj sucked, and i had just come from the worst club in the world (pacha) where I had hoped to catch Derrick May, but missed him.

as a result I was kind of not in my best mood

i was pretty much just standing alone probably looking pissed off in this party before chloe came on and the girls start to ask 'why aren't you dancing', 'you look angry' etc

as soon as chloe came on everything went away, but yeah, bottom line is... i don't try to hide/change my emotions in social settings





related to this is the book I am reading right now "The Outsider" by Colin Wilson. you all should read it.

quote:

Originally posted by Jake Benson I don't know why but American culture seems to be fascinated with being in a good mood and smiling all the time, as if that's the human default behavior. It's not. Default is happy, sad, angry, indifferent, ambivalent, etc. at different times.

I completely agree. It's pretty absurd when you think about it anyway. We only perceive things as "good" or "bad" such that they lead to happiness or unhappiness in relative terms. The hedonic treadmill demonstrates that pretty clearly. As a consequence, we unavoidably experience roughly similar proportions of happiness and unhappiness regardless of our circumstances.

We can't change that, so the idea of being "happy" all the time is both an awkward pretense and a foolish objective. Some psychologists have theorized that different people tend to experience happiness and unhappiness in varying proportions, but I tend to think that, instead, different people tend to be better at recalling their past feelings of happiness or better at recalling their past unhappiness, leading to varying perceptions of how often one is happy despite very little variance between individuals with regards to how much happiness they "actually" experience.

quote:

Originally posted by Lira This is something my girlfriend and I have been discussion for a while and, even though it's one of the most frivolous problems I can think of, I find it incredible that our opinions are diametrically opposed. If you're in a social gathering, should you look happy, even if you're tired or sad, in order to avoid worrying others? My girlfriend's stance is that, pretty much like politeness in speech, you must also be "polite" in your facial expression. According to her, when you're surrounded by other people, you should try to be as friendly as possible, and smiling at others is a good way of doing that. If you look bored, people will think that it's their fault. We're social beings, and we should try to make those around us feel comfortable. I, however, think it's important for you to be comfortable. If you don't feel like smiling, then there's no need to fake it. Should anyone be worried about your mood, all you need to say is that you're fine, and there's no reason why anyone should be bothered by your apparent lack of enthusiasm. You could just be tired, but still enjoying the company of those around you. If we're not comfortable, and try too hard to look nice, we will eventually make those around us feel uncomfortable as well. Discuss.

Your girlfriend is joking right?? How incredibly unhealthy that you should deny yourself the right to express how you feel. It's true, 90% of human communication is non-verbal. If that means that your face lets everyone else know that you're uncomfortable or unhappy then so be it. In any decent society it's important for it's members NOT TO BE IN DENIAL of those individuals who are stressed/depressed/frustrated/suffering etc.

Part of living in the real world is being able to acknowledge the full range of human emotions and behavior. No offense but your girlfriend's on some 1950's Pleasantville bullshit. A perpetually chipper facade not only propogates ignorance, but disconnects everyone else from you as well. Do what makes you feel comfortable. People will either adjust or they won't.

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lol @ today's Unshelved strip



lulz

quote:

Originally posted by Blake Your girlfriend is joking right??

No, not at all. As you can see, there are many TA's that agree with her, and that's why I think this is interesting - it's such a trivial thing... yet people can't seem to agree

quote:

Originally posted by Jake Benson I don't know why but American culture seems to be fascinated with being in a good mood and smiling all the time, as if that's the human default behavior. It's not. Default is happy, sad, angry, indifferent, ambivalent, etc. at different times. I notice people from other cultures don't have this "let me smile you to death with my crunk service." They just sit there and look at me like "what? what the fuck do you want?" And that's way more genuine in my opinion.

Yeah, I heard a philosopher say that once. I wish some Europeans replied to this thread...

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quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter I completely agree. It's pretty absurd when you think about it anyway. We only perceive things as "good" or "bad" such that they lead to happiness or unhappiness in relative terms. The hedonic treadmill demonstrates that pretty clearly. As a consequence, we unavoidably experience roughly similar proportions of happiness and unhappiness regardless of our circumstances. We can't change that, so the idea of being "happy" all the time is both an awkward pretense and a foolish objective. Some psychologists have theorized that different people tend to experience happiness and unhappiness in varying proportions, but I tend to think that, instead, different people tend to be better at recalling their past feelings of happiness or better at recalling their past unhappiness, leading to varying perceptions of how often one is happy despite very little variance between individuals with regards to how much happiness they "actually" experience.

Very interesting thoughts. Thank you good sir .

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quote:

Originally posted by teegee sometimes, i sit on my hand until its numb and then masturbate...i call that a stranger.

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Originally posted by Sushipunk I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. It would come down to personality types.

I kind of agree... And I agree with your girlfriend too, Lira. I guess I just have a different personality.

For good or bad, I can't do anything but pretty much wear my emotions on my shirtsleeve - so more often than not if I'm not really feeling up to being "social", I stay home, just because I don't want to deal with bullshit social graces like pretending I'm enjoying myself while I'm really relatively fucked off.

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