Originally posted by limin_li
Thank you all for the response. My take on this is that she is really taking her time to making a decision meanwhile she wants to know if she can spent the rest of her 4-5 years with me.
What really happened is that, she broke up with her first boyfriend last August (2007) She has been with him for four and half years. This is the first time she branch out to the Asian guys. I just happened to be the first victim.
Let me what you guys think :-)
The more you sit off to the side and wait for her to "make her decision", the more she sees she's got you by the balls I know cos this happened to me too... The more you desperately try and convince her that it'll work out, the more she will be turned off, and then you have a relationship going on because she feels bad to cut it off... If you give her the "if it's meant to be, then we'll end up together" and give her MADD space, then she'll be more drawn to you. By mad space, I mean, go a long time without calling or talking to her, go out with other people, etc.... She'll see how much it sucks for her to be on the sidelines and come to you.
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Jun-11-2008 02:39
kadomony
FRENCH EXPRESS
Registered: Jul 2004
Location: Philly
quote:
Originally posted by DJ Eco
The more you sit off to the side and wait for her to "make her decision", the more she sees she's got you by the balls I know cos this happened to me too... The more you desperately try and convince her that it'll work out, the more she will be turned off, and then you have a relationship going on because she feels bad to cut it off... If you give her the "if it's meant to be, then we'll end up together" and give her MADD space, then she'll be more drawn to you. By mad space, I mean, go a long time without calling or talking to her, go out with other people, etc.... She'll see how much it sucks for her to be on the sidelines and come to you.
Well sorta. Since she's a female she won't be feeling any remorse for being put on the sidelines. She can always get another guy. The key part of her you want to connect with is her jealousy AND demonstrate that you're in demand.
Registered: May 2002
Location: Cockeysville, Baltimore
quote:
Originally posted by DJ_Lord
i hear what youre saying but if shes insecure about her future and at the same time feels insecure about her relationship with you...cause by now it should be at least close to that....then you should dump her, not worth it..yes i realize u really really really like her, but unstable girls are not worth it, just move on and find yourself a better fish...being cold-hearted will help u in this situation
Well she said that she is not looking for anyone else right now. Maybe this mofo do got me by the balls. It is weird, because the previous relationship according to her is quite the opposite, because her ex was not that supportive to her.
sounds like this girl has all the power in your "relationship." honestly she is doing what she wants and you are letting her so she wins all around. why bother with a relationship if she has everything she already wants? i'm very close with someone in a similar situation and i'm tired of seeing such a disfuctional partnership because it doesn't make any sense. for your own future happiness let it go and if you can't then be emotionally ready to never be in the type of relationship you want. if you let your dynamic with the girl stay the same for much longer you have nobody but yourself to blame if it eventually goes wrong because you decided to ignore clear signs that this just isn't going to work
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quote:
Originally posted by Ygrene
I once saw Swamper peel off 4 or 5 $100 bills from a fat roll and say this to Donald Trump: "Go clean yourself up; you look like a bum.". And then he threw the bills right in Trump's face/hair! Then Swamper and his entourage of 30, who were all wearing TA monogramed Rolexes, left the room and flew to Hawaii for a few hours because Del wanted fresh coconut.
To his defense, Trump didn't even really look like a bum.
Jun-11-2008 03:34
vtec junkie
slave to the dark beat
Registered: Oct 2002
Location: In the zone, chief
quote:
Originally posted by ReenTeenTeen
at which point you differentiate between slut and a lady?
so are you calling his "friend with benefits" a slut??? i never met the girl so i was giving her the benefit of the doubt......
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Jun-11-2008 03:35
kadomony
FRENCH EXPRESS
Registered: Jul 2004
Location: Philly
quote:
Originally posted by chimera66
sounds like this girl has all the power in your "relationship." honestly she is doing what she wants and you are letting her so she wins all around. why bother with a relationship if she has everything she already wants? i'm very close with someone in a similar situation and i'm tired of seeing such a disfuctional partnership because it doesn't make any sense. for your own future happiness let it go and if you can't then be emotionally ready to never be in the type of relationship you want. if you let your dynamic with the girl stay the same for much longer you have nobody but yourself to blame if it eventually goes wrong because you decided to ignore clear signs that this just isn't going to work
maybe you're not a challenge to her anymore. try being a little more stubborn. don't settle. don't give in and always do what she wants. if she doesn't take this change very well, tough shit, don't call her......let her call you. unfortunately it sounds like she's playing games with you. learn to play the game back and you will find out for sure if she is worth your time or not. and remember......there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Originally posted by vtec junkie
maybe you're not a challenge to her anymore. try being a little more stubborn. don't settle. don't give in and always do what she wants. if she doesn't take this change very well, tough shit, don't call her......let her call you. unfortunately it sounds like she's playing games with you. learn to play the game back and you will find out for sure if she is worth your time or not. and remember......there are plenty of fish in the sea.
I think we are overlooking one HUGE factor...the ex-factor. Guaranteed the ex is still somehow involved and has got her where she has got you. Whether he is in the picture or not it may be that she is still pining over him. I actually applaud her for not getting seriously involved with you right away...that would probably lead to her breaking your heart and going back to her ex. This happens to people so often. I think you should just have a little heart to heart with her and figure out what her deal is.
Registered: May 2002
Location: Cockeysville, Baltimore
quote:
Originally posted by Keryn
I think we are overlooking one HUGE factor...the ex-factor. Guaranteed the ex is still somehow involved and has got her where she has got you. Whether he is in the picture or not it may be that she is still pining over him. I actually applaud her for not getting seriously involved with you right away...that would probably lead to her breaking your heart and going back to her ex. This happens to people so often. I think you should just have a little heart to heart with her and figure out what her deal is.
True, one of my good friend thinks that she still in denial about the ex. I was thinking about doing the same, and that is a heart to heart talk.
I know cos this happened to me too... The more you desperately try and convince her that it'll work out, the more she will be turned off, and then you have a relationship going on because she feels bad to cut it off... If you give her the "if it's meant to be, then we'll end up together" and give her MADD space, then she'll be more drawn to you. By mad space, I mean, go a long time without calling or talking to her, go out with other people, etc.... She'll see how much it sucks for her to be on the sidelines and come to you.
