quote:

Originally posted by Nrg2Nfinit Ok there are several things that ive fucked up in in life. But im going to talk about the funniest ones. Going to dinner with my girlfriend and her family. (We just had recently gotten together) and her sister is there as well. We are walking towards the car and its slippery outside. All of a sudden her mother tells me to hold her daughters hand so she doesnt fall. Her mother is walking ahead with her (my girflriends) dad and her sister is behind me. As i grab for my girfriends arm she pulls away abruptly. "NO im fine i dont need your help". The pull sets me off balance and my right hand flies out of my other pocket. i take 2 steps when her mother looks back and says "oh karim i think something fell out of your pocket!" I look down and see that i dropped a condom. I am speechless. I quickly pick it up and put it back in my pocket. I look up and see her dads face is completely red. My girlfriend turns back to me and says "EWW karim.. who were you going to use that on". Again i couldnt say anything. The dinner was very awkward. Needless to say.. i didnt eat very much.

Ouch!

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Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN "oh, so I shouldn’t mention that I've been fucking you in the ass then?" (he had recently started having anal sex with his wife

that's fucking awesome

And for that, I have now converted to a moral universalist. Buttsecks for everyone!

My biggest mistake? Thinking a young, hot French girl (Catholic, caucasian background) would make a great, devout, conservative Muslim wife and waiting 7 years to find that out!!! LOL

quote:

Originally posted by Lilith Probably registering on TA, then not having the sense to piss off 7 years ago...

Is your av a clever way of saying you like to eat pussy?

hitting on frenchie, now she is stalking me

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Originally posted by fayraree My biggest mistake? Thinking a young, hot French girl (Catholic, caucasian background) would make a great, devout, conservative Muslim wife and waiting 7 years to find that out!!! LOL

why did she have to be a devout, conservative muslim wife?

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Originally posted by narcism hitting on frenchie, now she is stalking me

watch out. she's after your penis

hmmm... my worst thing. I gotta think about this, but being absent minded and losing track of days of the week gotta be it.

This has caused me to miss a midterm.

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quote:

Originally posted by chinamon not true. i say "ugh" but i am a tranny.

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Originally posted by kotsy lol colour me retarded

I haven't fucked up very badly yet. At least I don't remember anything great right now..

My brother ruined the night of his friend once:

They were going through the bars here and his friend was hitting on some girl they found in some bar. Everything was going great and the girl had the intention to go at the guy's place for the night and all, but then out of nowhere my brother (while being pretty drunk) comes behind his friend, puts his arm on his shoulder and starts making some stupid "prrt" noise and spits at the same time. The girl didn't like that and walked away.

My brother had already fallen asleep when I went to his place to hear the story from his friend, who was still up and complaining about what my brother did. He painted some hearts on my brother's face too.

quote:

Originally posted by EvilTree watch out. she's after your penis

she cant handle my penis

quote:

Originally posted by narcism she cant handle my penis

it's the possession that matters, not necessarily the actual usage

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quote:

Originally posted by chinamon not true. i say "ugh" but i am a tranny.

quote:

Originally posted by kotsy lol colour me retarded

quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN why did she have to be a devout, conservative muslim wife?

lol I'm sure you have no idea! to be honest, because my Mom's a widow and I have to take care of her as her only son so my wife has to be someone who can fulfill that role of a respectful (and obedient at times--not for anything unreasonable, but as obedient as sons/daughters should be with their parents, in accordance with my close-knit family values) daughter-in-law. The problem was, when we started we were free-spirited independent kids with no worries in the world, but my father passed away 3 years into the relationship so there was a major change that I thought was going to be okay, and despite things seeming okay over the next 4 years, at the very end (1 month before the wedding) things went haywire and ended very abruptly

/sob story

Oh shit! I just remembered my biggest fuck up! Bigger than ending a stupid 7-year relationship...I wrote off my 2000 Civic SiR in a street race on the 401

Happened in 2001 and I was charged with dangerous driving, but luckily was conditionally discharged. Had I not been discharged it would have ended my legal/banking career before it even began! Thank God there weren't as many idiots like me back then, otherwise the anti-street racing laws would have been instituted a long time ago...

Last edited by on Nov-22-2007 at 09:15

My life was a major succession of fuckups, from 2000 to 2003, and I still have to pay for my poor judgement. But, some of the dumb stuff that happened is just hilarious:

• Farting seconds before kissing a girl (who had never been kissed): It was hilarious, because I had just taken her home, and we were both looking into each other's eyes, smiling and, as I was about to touch her face - PFFFFFFFFFTTTTT!!!!, I ripped one I don't think she was amused by that, as she suddenly "heard someone call her name"... but the date had been really boring up to that moment, and no matter how gorgeous she was, the look on her face when she heard my sphincter growl was totally worth it
  
  
• Missing the bus 3 times, as I tried to go home, and then take the wrong one: This story was also hilarious, but it's rather long. What matter is that 2 friends and I failed miserably to go home that day. As I was the only man, I was also supposed to somehow "protect" them as the saga unfolded, but even more hilarity ensued because of that.
  

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