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effects are just a neat way to cover up the bad music you're playing
but pressing a button and twisting a knob, SHIT MAN, BEAT REPEAT. "BAW BAW BAW BAW BAW BAW" FUCKKKKKK *crowd is going nuts, 8note reverb ricocheting off the fucking walls like l.l. cool j in rollerball*
*you goooo, you goooo, youuuuuuuuuuuuu goooooooo (fucking beat stretch, via ableton) oh shit, doesn't sound good in texture mode, time to switch to tones*
*crowd holds hands in air, they can't take it any more, guido's are getting boners, their bitches rubbing up against them as deadmau5 blasts through the PA. YOUUUU GO.. YOU GOOO...................reverb, reverse effect on the CDJ......BOOOOSH, DOWN THE LONGEST ROAD TO NO WHERE, holy shit all the guidos pop their cherries, people think it's the machines fogging the club up, but really is the heat and sweat penetrating through their armani and d&g attire*
*their bug eyed chic-miniature sunglasses can't bare the UV rays shooting from the lazers any more, all the guidos remove their sunglasses, and a huge fucking ray of light blasts from the crowd like cyclops, ZOOOOOWWWWW*
*deadmau5 strangles steve duda on stage, no one knows wtf is going on, he switches to an eerie halloween intro of ghosts n stuff. signals everyone to put their shit in the air, crowd follows. guido's go nuts, they're shaking in their fucking uggs right now, deadmau5 is about to drop a sick 'easy-listening vocal' of carl sagan quoting a pale blue dot as he abruptly goes back into the groove of 'alone with you', the tears from all the females fill up the room, people think the ceiling has opened and there is a storm equivalent to hurricane katrina outside, the rolling moog synth slowly comes in, the kick is hard like my boner, abercrombie pants on all the guido's rip even more than they already are during the factory process. they're fucking blow away, BADAAWAWA BADAWAWA BDADADAW, 'alone with you' is rocking the place*
deadmau5 finishes his set, the crowd screams at the top of their lungs, then he takes his mouse mask off and slowly the decibel level fades from +43 to +8. the teeth have made the ecstasy enriched community of clubbers completely uncomfortable
in steps ricardo villalobos, all the guys wearing completely obscure band t-shirts, bands only they have ever heard, shirts you can't fucking buy any where, you gotta print that shit out legit silk-screen by yourself. ricardo drops a bomb unreleased opener of nina simone. *when you are ready i will surrender take me and do as you willll* baw baw baw baw *tribal percs, sick rolling, triplet lion drums all over the fucking place. ricocheting off their metallic encrusted scarves. ricardo is sweating already, he came on set with a completely dry deep v-neck now it's soaked in man sweat. didn't even take 3 minutes, already sweating like a race-horse at the kentucky derby. he's rolling balls. he starts to mix out of this unreleased nina simone track, goes straight into fucking latino-americanos, everyones like WHATTT DAA FACKK, shit don't fit. doesn't matter, ricky ricardo knows what he's doing, he's giving the crowd a mindfuck like they've never seen before. he's keeping the track completely without bass, slowly mixing into an obscure south american classic track, *chingate puttaaaaa, WOA, chingateee putaaaa, WHOA* *rolling groove hats, off-beat water drums* crowd doesn't even know what the fuck it means, but they love it. fist pump fist pump. 8 hours go by, and the set is still at 121 bpm, people don't even notice, they've came about 60 times already, that's all that matters. ricardo mixes out really bad, with a horrible beat repeat from his nifty red soundbyte, leaves it on a 1/4 beat loop for 45 seconds, crowd loves it. fuck it's wicked repetitive but it's working all that horse tranq i took earlier. closing the set with a white label bootleg of 'lonely island - i'm on a boat'
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Brilliant!
