hey, im being totally serious here.
Have you ever had your ass kicked? I mean where you were down on the ground bleeding out of your ears or something? It sounds like you had a traumatic experience, and thats why you are so afraid; Maybe domestic abuse as a child?

Whatever the cause may be, it might actually be helpful if you and a friend got into sparring matches and do a whole "fight-club" sort of thing (except dont beat the crap out of yourself)

Seriously. Get into a fight with one of your friends, and mutually acknowledge that whatever happens, you will still be cool with each other. Just duke it out until one of you gives up. Thats how i learned to fight. Screw the karate or boxing bullshit. (make sure that if you do that, you both wear cups. . .you dont want to jeapordize each others kids) Also try to do it on a mat if you can, something with padding, as most street fights turn into grappling matches of some kind. Maybe start out with boxing gloves and soft kneepads so you learn your limits.

You would be surprised how well that actually works. That helped me toughen up a LOT when i got into ice hockey.

Or you could carry around a wallet full of bills and whenever someone threatens to fight you, hand them some cash and say youre sorry?

just my two cents. . .

Don't remember a traumatic experience or anything like that but that would make sense since when I was younger I would get suspended for fights a few times a month. I might try boxing my friends to to see what it's like since I do have boxing gloves in my basement :P.

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quote:

Originally posted by Orbax Hello heir Trance. I am ze doctoar of your mind. I vill now be diagnosink you. You are vat ve in ze zygological community are callink a "puzzy". I zugjest zat you are kickink ze azzez of ze peoplez who are makink you be feelink zis vay.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

quote:

Originally posted by Palivar "Holy jeepers, Davey! I think I can kick this guy's ass!!"

aha, thats a gudden

anyway:

i think your fobia derives from perhaps seeing too much violent fist to fist fighting as a child, be it from experience at school, seeing it in person or on TV. All it is is that you realise what it does and have the intelligence to know that a) it solves fuck all b) even if you do kick sum1's arse theres a 90% chance theyre gonna come back some later time and c) sometimes it cant end up in serious injury etc. subconciously you will always think about these points in a fight, but for you i think they over take your emotions rather than your logic. im not to sure how you can control this, perhaps you have seen so many fights and what not go the wrong way really bad, and this has left a mental scar. i think only your willpower to use your logic of not wanting to resort to physical violence to be confident and prevent these situations, rather than worry about them occuring. me personally i always try and solve things normally, not the retard way, because there always something you can do to hurt the idiot more, there ia no "code of conduct" in the real world if push comes to shove

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It's funny that most people see violence on TV and see it as influencial on the actions of people. I for one have grown up watching violent movies and stuff on TV and playing video games all my life. People think that it would make me a violent killing machine when in fact it's more like what Dumonde Trancer was saying. That might be part of it but then again I always used to fight and have been searching for the turning point in my life that I never really noticed.

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Uhm, you guys, you're really off on your martial arts knowledge. I'm talking from personal experience here, 6 years of training. (chinese gung-fu).

There are ALOT of bad schools out there who don't really know what they're teaching. You can walk into a school and think you're learning martial arts, but for all you know, your instructor could've learned it off a magazine. And of course there are bad students, who don't put in half the effort and time, but walk around thinking they're the shit.

But it isn't just about learning how to fight either. If you want to learn how to kick the shit out of someone, just take up boxing or osmething more agressive. Martial arts should be a way of life, a discipline, and a true martial artist should be able to avoid physical confrontation, and should be able to defend him/herself if ever caught in one.

Also, the comment about demonstrations being rigged, bugged me, because you don't know how many years it takes to build up these skills, and to have them passed off as just a cheap gimmick is kind of insulting. My sifu can bend 3 spears, with the tips poiting straight into his neck, I can't even bend one with my hand. I know this is real, I've been on the demonstrating side of the show. My friend puts in the time and effort, and now for demos, we call up volunteers to punch his stomach. He can take these punches, even from huge 300 lb guys (but alot of these guys don't know how to punch, lol), but he can take them without a problem. Most people would just keel over and throw up blood.

And one board is a joke. No one breaks just one board, thats what karate schools do to build up confidence in beginners. :P When you break through 3 1-inch boards, then you're talking.

And about people not using it till they're 30, my friend got into a fight when he was 15. He was invited to this club with his buddies, but it was mainly polish crowd, and him being vietnamese, ran into some problem with this racist prick. Needless to say, he was attacked, but swiftly resolved the problem before having bouncers jump on him and throw him out. Of course, our Sifu wasn't very pleased. :P

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jimtran.net

If the conflict youve gotten into is so dangerous as to be life threatining than the best thing to do is clearly stay away. It takes a big mouth to fight, but it takes a bigger man to walk away. The reason you find yourself unable to fight is simply because you dont want to.

Hey trancedance, have you ever seen Fight Club? Not bad of a movie, but may be you should watch it.

Do you ever get really really stressed, like so stressed that you would knock out the teeth of the next person who wanted to talk to you? May be you should try that.

Well, i dont really think its necesary to be in fights. Just kick off your shoes and listen to some trance

it takes a big man to cry, but a bigger man to laugh at that man... but seriously.

like I said, there are a few individuals who are truly gifted.

And You dont need martial arts to not fight. Get a book on pacifism or ghandi or something

I think the martial arts are a great after school/work entertainment thing for people. It isnt just the fact that a LOT of styles of martial arts are BS, but 99% of the human population is pathetic anyways, and no amount of training will make them dangerous. I dunno. If hes having these thoughts though about strangers it honestly does sound like anxiety problems (Pysch major ((doesnt mean I know everything about it, just im aware its a possibility )))

quote:

Originally posted by Orbax I think the martial arts are a great after school/work entertainment thing for people. It isnt just the fact that a LOT of styles of martial arts are BS, but 99% of the human population is pathetic anyways, and no amount of training will make them dangerous. I dunno. If hes having these thoughts though about strangers it honestly does sound like anxiety problems (Pysch major ((doesnt mean I know everything about it, just im aware its a possibility )))

your opinion, fair enough. But I think his anxiety problem can be overcome with confidence, and if his boxing lessons are gonna help him gain confidence, they might solve the problem.

but seriously, trance_n_dance, don't get your mind all caught up on fighting. Fighting is for boneheads who have no better comeback. :P But its good to know that you can kick someone's ass just in case you run into a bonehead..

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jimtran.net

quote:

Originally posted by quddha your opinion, fair enough. But I think his anxiety problem can be overcome with confidence, and if his boxing lessons are gonna help him gain confidence, they might solve the problem. but seriously, trance_n_dance, don't get your mind all caught up on fighting. Fighting is for boneheads who have no better comeback. :P But its good to know that you can kick someone's ass just in case you run into a bonehead..

This isn't some stupid respect thing. This is to help me not be terrified wherever I go. I may get into a fight or two after I overcome this to make me feel better but I will certainly not pick any fights but next time the opportunity arises and someone chooses to challenge me and I feel comftorable fightin I will. It will boost my confidence and in turn better my life

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see a fucking doctor!! im not gonna say it again bro. This TOTALLY sounds like generalized anxiety disorder!!! Take some meds like zoloft or whatever that shit it, and get your brain chemicals to a normal level! Im on pills myself, and its changing my life for the better. for something else hehe but still. I used to be against medication too, until it got too serious and I realized my mental mode had nothing to do with the physical configuration of my brain