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hey bloodflower, i have some FAQ"s about "ravers, glowsticks, etc...
Q: Are glowsticks cancerous?
A: Yes they are. But why would an idiot raver give a damn if glowsticks are cancerous? They're too busy trying out some new "cocktails" every single night. Cancer is the last thing on a raver's mind (what little is left of it).
Q: I used to make decent grades in school, then I started going to raves. Now, I keep getting E's in all my classes! What should i do??
A: First off, you're an idiot and you're hallucinating. Those aren't E's, those are F's. Good job there, Watson.
Q: I've got to know this one: Why do they use so much goddamned NEON!?!?!?
A: There are several reasons actually. First off, many ravers will actually put neon glow sticks in their mouths. This is because they are hallucinating and they believe that they are robots and that these neon glow sticks are their power source. Kind of like "The Transformers" cartoon and those "Energon Cubes" they were always fighting over. It's always quite a hoot when the glow sticks explode in their mouths and you see them puking up glowing green liquid!
Next, as you know, joggers and bikers will often wear neon to avoid being hit by cars at night. Well with ravers it's sort of the same thing. When they come stumbling out of a rave, completely stoned off their asses, they have been known to go wandering into highways. By wearing all the neon they figure people will see them and swerve out of their way. In my case, if I see someone on the highway wearing all that neon, I MAKE SURE I HIT THEM DEAD ON!
Finally, they will fling around all sorts of neon items while they dance. Normally you would think this is just so they can have a "trippy effect" going for them while they "groove to the music". Nope. When they do this they are trying to "appease the gods of the Rave". Much like a tribal dance with large decorative outfits and flowers, Ravers use "Neon" to try to make the gods happy so that they are given more drugs and more bad music to listen to in the future. However, the only thing the gods seem to bring them is bad attire and unemployment.
Q: Every Raver seems to talk about it being a "Positive Movement". Positive this, positive that. Why do they keep saying this?
A: I'm quite "positive" that the only reason they do this is one of the only words they know. Here's some examples of how the word is used in conversations at raves.
"Is this stuff safe to inhale?" "Yeah man, I'm positive!"...
"Say, have they been playing one repetitive song all night?" "Yeah man, I'm positive!"...
"Hey, I think your friend there just stopped breathing!" "Yeah man, I'm positive!"...
"Can you understand a fucking word I'm saying?" "Yeah man, I'm positive!"...
Indeed it is a sad thing, but after listening to such wretched music and doing so many drug cocktails, you can't expect a Raver's vocabulary to be that extensive
I'm sorry, but if I EVER saw a raver with these "Glowstick Nun-Chucks",
I wouldn't be able to help myself from beating him/her into oblivion
If you think Raves are fun, just wait til you experience the "after party"!
This poor sod has a problem. He has a sickness common to these raves called "imafuckingmoron-itus". This sickness is brought about by ingestion of a certain concoction of chemicals that are frequently used in certain drugs that ravers use. One of the horrible symptoms of this is shown in the picture above. His arms are stuck, raised at head level. Unfortunately he won't live but a few hours...the fingers that are sticking out will rapidly expand until they are touching his head, they will then slowly crush his skull and his
little raver brain. But all is not lost. During this process the brain turns into
a glowing gelatinous ooze that's fun to spread on clothing and skin!
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AfterhoursDJs Resident:
http://www.afterhoursdjs.org
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