quote:

Originally posted by jennypie I honestly think it's not difficult to catch onto, depending on how aware you are of what's going on around you, how perceptive you are to non-verbal communication, etc.

I was just being playful, but I definitely agree with you there.

Though I always try to maintain a healthy scepticism about everything - including my own actions

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quote:

Originally posted by jennypie I don't call it skepticism, I call it critical awareness.

A person who is good at it can do it so well that neither they nor the other person realise it's happening. It's automatic and so natural that the other person won't think twice about it.

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Ha! I closed out my class notes to Piaget and opened up this thread. Completely unrelated to picking up women, but mirroring is one of the first things infants use when developing. I was thinking that people probably mirror someone they like because they feel that if they act like them they will be liked. However, most people are insanely harsh critics of themselves especially when it comes to their body language quarks and might be more repulsed than drawn too a mirror image.

Mirroring...it's crap!

From the abstract of that article it seems like one of those topics that you can correlate with about anything and get an easy publication. So there is no real use in it.

quote:

Originally posted by Boomer187 Mirroring...it's crap! From the abstract of that article it seems like one of those topics that you can correlate with about anything and get an easy publication. So there is no real use in it.

That wasn't the abstract, it was a part of the article itself.

There is an incredible amount of data on mirroring for infants and its relationship to learning, and there is a lot of information about social mirroring.

Like I said, when I do a search through the database, I get hundreds of results, so obviously there is a rather large group of people who think it has some validity.

Mirroring is a form of synonymous somatics.

I was introduced to the concept when I was studying hypnosis.

It relates to self identification.

It also allows easier communication of "ideas" that are somatic in nature.


The easier messages are communicated, the easier they may be understood, especially if the message being communicated is easily identifiable from a "being" state.

However, not all individuals may respond positively to themselves, some people may not like aspects of their own expressions.

If someone considers some type of somatic gesture to be "positive" or desired, receiving that same message may be viewed as positive.


If someone is for instance flirting, then a responsive flirt may be viewed as "successful" communciation of intention.

Not all somatic gestures are "indentical parlay", some parlays have "alternate responses" rather than mirroring, as an ideal.

It is much like oral communication. Saying "I think you are a really sexy woman" may not be received as well when you say "I think you are a really sexy woman" to the guy that just complimented you. The same is true for mirroring in that all mirroring, like any form of expressive communication may not be 100% identical, but instead synonymous.

Mirroring is just another form of communication - as all semantic communications. It is however - very important in rapport building becuase rapport is built via cultural commonality, that is exactly
synonymous expression. Simply mirroring someone isn't necisarily the "end all" but knowing what is meant by the gestures, and how to accurately respond to communicate "the response" to achieve the "acknowledgement".


Often people like receiving postive messages.
People often feel comfortable with themselves and have a higher potential to see that behaviour in other people, because it is familiar.

Eg. A person screaming running down the street may not elicit comfort, even without there being conscious thoughts behind the activity. It is just common sense.


Mirroring itself is a bit like retriggering - it isn't 100% but can stimulate the same pathways.



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Last edited by w_ashley on Sep-26-2010 at 09:14

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie Hahaha, I was talking about this with someone not too long, actually. I think it's best understood in terms of courting behaviour (er wait, I see you already said that...) But yeah. I had the suspicion that my buddy's room-mate had a crush on me - because of the way he always mirrored me when we were in the same room together, and the way he always positioned himself in relation to me. Anyway, I see that you're looking for credible studies about this behaviour. I have to go do some shit for a couple hours, but I think I might be able to dig some stuff up for you. I'm sure I've seen something somewhere in my psych studies.

I notice I do it when I'm uncomfortable. E.g. When I started my new job and I was talking to the boss's boss.

Or if you are stuck in a room with someone you have fuck all in common you tend to both fold arms, or hands in pockets.

It's weird. Not sure I've done it when I have the hots for someone though.

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Folding arms and hands in pockets is a terrible sign. A common human trait it to cross your arms when you're talking to people if you're not all that relaxed or comfortable. It's a "negative" subconcious projection.

It's funny because there are so many things we do that we don't even notice.

As an example, most women will sit on a bed and slip into the sheets, where as most men will tend to more "jump/roll" in, in one motion.

Another funny one is if you have a group of primarily white or asian males, if a black man joins the conversation the other males will quite often make their voice deeper, totally subconsciously because the black male generally has a deeper voice and it changes the dynamics of the group.

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quote:

Originally posted by Fledz Folding arms and hands in pockets is a terrible sign. A common human trait it to cross your arms when you're talking to people if you're not all that relaxed or comfortable. It's a "negative" subconcious projection. It's funny because there are so many things we do that we don't even notice. As an example, most women will sit on a bed and slip into the sheets, where as most men will tend to more "jump/roll" in, in one motion. Another funny one is if you have a group of primarily white or asian males, if a black man joins the conversation the other males will quite often make their voice deeper, totally subconsciously because the black male generally has a deeper voice and it changes the dynamics of the group.

Well that's the thing, I know I'm doing it. But if I don't then I feel really uncomfortable.

I am shit with eye contact too if it's someone with authority.

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Nothing lasts, nothing lasts, everything is changing into something else. Nothing is wrong, nothing is wrong, everything is on track...

You know, William Blake said... uh, nothing is lost. Nothing is lost and I... I really believe that, we only move on...

You can work on that, it all comes down to confidence.
Also, if you know you're doing it then STOP DOING IT!

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