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| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Pie
God, I truly dread the thought. I honestly remember thinking, after I'd gotten over the shock and grief, that my life was now full of so many possibilities. |
Strangely, it was as a result of the grieving process - the way I tried to come to an understanding of the way she died - that I came to a better understanding of who she and I really were. And that took sobriety and a number of years, to occur. I wouldn't say that opportunities opened up or that I see any new possibilities as such that would not occur if she were still alive. The thought, however, of still knowing myself as she knew me is jarring.
I have a brother who, in a very, very passive-aggressive dig, liked to "compliment" me for providing him with an object lesson of what happens when you drink too much, insisting that he's modeled his behavior so as not to follow in my foot-steps. As much as my failure to conform to social norms when drinking adheres to the narrative my mother laid out for me, I'm almost certain that had it not been for booze and her death, I'd have ended my life, a long time ago.
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Now with extra singles!
my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012
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