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What is the statistical probability that talking about how I voted for DJ so-and-so will get me laid? In order to satisfy the maximum potency for this, two factors are taken into consideration: Their underground credibility and mainstream popularity (See Fig. 1.1).
Fig. 1.1
If you'd asked me this in 2009, the easy answer would have been Markus Schulz. Everyone knew who he was but he still had that edge. That boat has sailed, however, and Schulz is at the pinnacle of his success over in the left-hand column of my chart. In early 2010, If I'd have said Skrillex, that would have been a non-starter. He was at the peak of the Underground Credibility line, over on the right hand side of my chart. Unfortunately, Skrillex peaked in both popularity and underground back in June of this year and while I still stand a small chance of getting laid, it's probably not going to be with someone I'd want to watch eating breakfast, the next day. With Schulz, I'd be eating my own arm for breakfast.
The deal is that you have to pick someone who's popular enough that the cool chicks have heard of them but underground enough that the hot chicks think they're still cool. Basically, you're sittin' in the club and definitely should be wearing a t-shirt that says, "Yo bitches! I'm a DJ." A DJ Mag T-Shirt is too obvious. You have to have something like a Record Needle Cartridge brand name, a diagram of head-phones, or a Vestax or even a Rane logo.
You go up to the bar and be having a conversation with your wing-man about who you're going to be voting for. Talk about it like it's all important, n' shit. Make sure that shorty's wriggling her butt to the music at the bar, and that's when you say, "Oh, well, I don't know... Armin had his day. He deserves it, but I want to give it to someone who could use a boost, like David Guetta. I'd give it to Above & Beyond but those are like two guys."
Slam, bam thank you, mamm! She's rode hard and you're put away wet. Anyway, those are the factors that go into who I vote for.
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Now with extra singles!
my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012
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