taking one of those shits that comes out so cleanly that you can put the toilet paper back because it is still clean.

waking up to my best friend having sex with a stripper/hooker on my face, with juices flowing down my chin

quote:

Originally posted by zyklon-jay taking one of those shits that comes out so cleanly that you can put the toilet paper back because it is still clean.

Ghost poops are truly the best.

I found two kittens in the hood of our van, this morning (pic of one, to follow). A few days ago, someone noticed a black, mama cat trotting around with two pairs (greyish calico-toms and blacks). Taking it upon themselves, they put bowls of cat-food and water on a curb in our parking lot - directly underneath our car.

I hadn't put all this, together, until today, but had noticed the occurrence of the food-bowls, knew about the cats (not the kittens, though). The carcase of a dead mouse, that had clearly been tortured by the parent, was discovered underneath our vehicle, a couple of days ago. We moved the van to the space next to where the food-bowls were, simply because we didn't want to be running over any critters feeding there (saw a seagull, the other day).

This morning, my girlfriend noticed the four kittens (this is when we put two and two, together) following mother cat around. When we left, this morning, she noticed one of the kittens sitting in the shade of our right, front tire. I looked and saw it, too, went around to shoe it away from the car, but it was gone.

Neither of us saw where it had run to. It dawned on us that it had crept up into the hood of our van. I pop the hood and, low and behold, two of them! The first, left immediately, scampering into a nearby sewer drain. The second, who must have been dozing there for a little while, sat, stricken, looking up at us with this "please, don't eat me" expression on her face. She couldn't have been more than four-weeks old. But she was definitely a little stocky, in a well-fed sort of way.

She and I stared at each other for a while. She kind of quivered, very unsure of this lumbering creature, who'd exposed her cover, looking down on her. When I reached, to let her smell my hand enough to trust me (I could at least pull her from the car and put her with her sister), she jumped off of the fuel-pump (I think it's the fuel-pump - I'll know better when I see the picture), through the hoses, and away to the sewer grate.

Then my head exploded into candy, all over the engine block.

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Last edited by EddieZilker on Jun-10-2012 at 21:48

the smell of freshly cut grass

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quote:

Scott has been introduced to the rave scene, and Ecstasy, by Craig. The two of them go out on the weekends, with some of Craigs friends, and stay up all night, dancing in a drug-fueled trance.

Last edited by Moral Hazard on Apr-26-2011 at 07:48

Finding out that Paul Simon is not, in fact, Chevy Chase, then being amused by your own mistake for the rest of your life.

This one has been going on for about 20 years for me now, and I reckon there's at least another 50 years mileage in it.

It's like growing your own weed, satisfying that you've achieved the buzz that is often only available through the input of another - but you've done it all by yourself.

quote:

Originally posted by Jarvmeister Finding out that Paul Simon is not, in fact, Chevy Chase, then being amused by your own mistake for the rest of your life. This one has been going on for about 20 years for me now, and I reckon there's at least another 50 years mileage in it. It's like growing your own weed, satisfying that you've achieved the buzz that is often only available through the input of another - but you've done it all by yourself.

When you think you have to take this massive, painful shit, but you sit down and it just ends up being a massive, really quick fart. Ahh, sweet relief.

Walking, Running, and exploring the neighborhood with my dogs, two Cocker Spaniels. I recently adopted a second Cocker from the pound, her name is Abbey. We have a small lake of sorts, where my Cockers can chase ducks and seagulls.

I usually work in the evenings, so when the sun is high during the day and the dogs need their potty walk, I put on some OFF, and chase the shadowy backwoods of the neighborhood, covered by trees, but filled with bugs underneath

It's getting very humid and I've been eaten alive by all the bugs lately, but ever since I got myself that darn OFF spray, I find myself in an agreeable mindset about going out with the dogs during the blazing daylight.

Survival of the Fittest.

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3 shit responses already. My technique is making poops viral.

quote:

Originally posted by ChemEnhanced the smell of freshly cut grass

Seconded

I get great pleasure from looking up at the stars on a clear night, without the intention of doing so. For example, just going out to increase my chances of lung cancer, or stepping out of a bar with a nice drink for a breath of fresh air, then looking up and realising how beautiful it is.

If the skies are clear and the light pollution is minimal, then it's something that gets me every time. I'll just stare for ages contemplating the vastness of the universe, our total insignificance, spotting planets, satellites, stars and generally admiring the natural beauty of space.

I'm sure I posted this in the Pictars thread, but here's an example of what I saw in the Gulf of Thailand a couple of weeks ago. I challenge anyone to see this with their own eyes and not be totally stunned.

I watched it move across the sky (technically the Earth rotating ) for at least 2 hours.



#geek

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