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> I was born on Tinker AFB in Oklahoma. My earliest memories were in a small house, watching scorpions in the doorways kill one another because they were trapped in proximity, and with arms. I watched a man in the vacant lot across from us, on his ATV, being sucked into a tornado. 
> I lived in/near Anchorage, Alaska. We had a very narrow, 3 story apartment. I recall looking across our vista and seeing the "sleeping lady"- a series of hills that when the mist was right (it often was), appeared as a sleeping woman laying on her side. It was very magical. My dad entertained me by eating cat food.
> I grew up in California. It was perhaps a magical and halcyon place in 1991, but it has changed so very much. We were still in Iraq then, yes? Storms of Industry and all the Intel entailed. Moving along.
> Ohio is a great place if you loved the smell of dead leaves, dried rivers, gnarled trees and the verdant dance of seasons amid an abyssmal winter. Someone once took a gigantic, inexplicable shit in our condo basement. How? Why? Ohio. It's a terrible place if you love people, and/or doing something with your life.
> South Dakota is very much the same. We lived in a 120+ year old house, with bum heating. Our basement flooded in the summer, and gave way to a coal pit fit for Buffalo Bill. I once found a salamander in it that was over a foot long. You don't even know.
> Las Vegas, Nevada. Wow, what a wasteland. Dust everywhere, ruddy, speckled humanoids with only a taste for the antique, living out the life of indulgence that baby boomers warned them of, a desert of finances, and the oasis of dreams constantly out of their reach, bleeding them of their vitality. The pinnacle of human contempt, as the siphon extends its addictive funnel.
> England. Oh, England. I lived on RAF Lakenheath- the surrounding villages are probably shit. Lakenheath itself is shit, Brandon is quaint and as worthy of ignorance as they might exhibit, Mildenhall has both an excellent Chinese and an Indian restaurant (England!), and Cambridge is the loveliest place to walkabout, perhaps the worst to dine finely. Find a kebab vendor and go about your day. There is much to see, and much to read from my experience in the most arcane and selcouth of book and curio stores there. Lovely city and lovely people, Cambridge, provided you live in a neighbourhood within distance of the college. Otherwise investment of the highest insurance is likely warranted.
> Colorado. Not many outside of Colorado know of our microbreweries, whose craft exceeds few. Our weather is more sunshine than anything else (it helps being so elevated) and our people are of likely expectancy due to it. It's hard to breath the first few weeks, but once you get acclimatize, our sprawl becomes a part of you to take for granted. Ever are there pines and Aspens- we boast perhaps one of the largest living organisms in the world in debt to it. The winters are rarely harsh, and herald a frantic pace of blue skies and summer heat amid frigid lows and howling gales, to temper the season. The inhabitants (in the metro area) are of a midwestern ilk, exposed to the niceties of the western coast and its spices, wrought with the precipitation of productive wild industry - forest fires and snow removal do our proles good, and so lay the groundwork for the Chick-Fil-A Porsche calibre of suburban investor to spend and fare in fertility. Except for the high schools and movie theatres. Stay far from those.
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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
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