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Pro tip: Durban isn't Cape Town.
Also, lols at the old Googooly reference. 

As for things to do:
Cable car up Table Mountain.
Take a drive through Chapman's Peak.
Have dinner at Blue's in Camps Bay.
Have dinner at Panama Jacks (if you can find it).
Spend the day at Clifton 4th Beach.
Visit Blouberg Strand for the best views of Table Mountain (sunset dinner at Moyo is ace).
Visit Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens.
Visit the Iziko South African Museum.
Visit the V&A Waterfront.
Visit Canal Walk (big ass shopping mall, so ideally not on a weekend)
That should do you. 
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