Yeah, of all the things to do unintended, kids is a pretty fuckin huge one.

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Originally posted by Silky Johnson Yeah, of all the things to do unintended, kids is a pretty fuckin huge one.

I think you're being reasonable and even more important, responsible.

A friend of mine has 3 kids, makes about $35,000 a year, his wife doesn't work and he has a mountain of debt. I'm not saying he's an idiot or anything but he got married young (because of parental pressure) and never really had the opportunity to be young and have fun.

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That's why young black men impregnate multiple hoe mamas but don't marry them. Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too.

My little adopted ones are a joy, I try not to spoil them too much but its hard not to.

I'm 30, no kids, win.

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Originally posted by Silky Johnson I'm 33. I have a few years still. Lots of women are having kids later. Again, I still have debt and am not married yet. Two things I need finished before I even entertain the idea of kids.

If only more people kept it real like you, maybe a huge chunk of my paycheck wouldn't be buying iphones for welfare moms.

I honestly just don't even know if I am a family person. I come from a very small, single parent family - so solitariness is something I'm more comfortable with, and with making family out of friends/other relationships that aren't just genetic. My experiences have taught me that I don't really buy into the "blood is thicker than water"/family above all other relationships idea.

I really don't know how important it is for me to have and be part of a family. It's so much more than just having a kid or two and there you go. It's a whole lifestyle and way of being that I just don't connect with very strongly at the moment. Only recently (past 5-6 years) have I even felt comfortable being part of my SOs very large family, and I've known them half my life, lol.

Or maybe I'm just a loner at heart. I dunno.

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Originally posted by Silky Johnson It's a whole lifestyle and way of being that I just don't connect with very strongly at the moment.

That's what scares me most about having kids.

It's not the actual taking care of and raising them; it's having to conform in some sort of way to that parental circle jerk. For example, attending birthday parties and being forced to stand there and act pleasant with that sort of demographic. Ew. Perhaps I just have a skewed view of what most parents in America are like. And sorry to say, I don't what shit to do with them.

But yea, the whole lifestyle itself. I'm not a fan.

Yup. And also the fact that, as much as I do enjoy spending time with my family and my SO's family, it still feels like an obligation more than a choice. Not that it's a bad feeling - in fact I think it's important to learn how to respect and honour obligations - but ehhhh. Do I feel obligated to my family because I genuinely enjoy my relationship with them, or do I find reasons to enjoy my relationship with them because of the obligation to them?

I hate the idea of tolerating people instead of truly enjoying them. And I hate the idea of enjoying people just because we share DNA. I think it's stupid.

All of that shit is inconsequential, once you stare into to the eyes of something you made, the second guessing is nil.

I am the least likely candidate for father of the year, but all of those worries don't mean shit. If you aren't broke, it is actually pretty easy and rewarding.

He does the shocker.

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Freak Out Tóng Zhì

after my brother and his wife had 2 girls and my sister had a son, i def would want one or two. they brought everyone closer together and make everyone smile. don't have a set career yet so still many years away and on top of that me and my SO been having major problems this year. i think she broke up with me like 8-10x the past few months (most break ups lasted like 2 days lol and have been on her period...)