I could quote Ralph Wiggum forever, but here are some of my favorites.

Ralph: 'Ms. Hoover, my parents won't let me use scissors'
*children laugh*
Ms. Hoover: 'The children are right to laugh at you Ralph, these things couldn't cut butter.'

R: 'Ms. Hoover, my worm crawled into my mouth and I ate the worm. Can I have another?'
MH: 'No Ralph, just go to sleep.'
R: 'Sleep, yay! That's where I'm a viking!'

R: 'And when the doctor told me I didn't have worms, that was the happiest day of my life!'
MH: 'Thank you Ralph, very graphic.'

And another favorite, from the episode where they judge the best bartender in Springfield:

Announcer: 'And the winner is ... Moe!'
Chick: 'Hey! You said if I slept with you I would win.'
Duffman: 'Duffman says alot of things!'

Too bad the new episodes aren't nearly as clever or entertaining.

i liked the one where the grandpa wanted die and kept trying to kill himself...

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

Moe:"Hey, I thought you died of liver cancer!?"
Duffman:"Duffman will never die! Only the actors who play him."

Or when they go to Duff Gardens.
Lisa:"It says here 22 imigrant laborers died in the making of the pyramid."
Patty:"Meh, there's more where that came from."

"Surly only looks out for one person:Surly!"
"Sorry Surly."
"Shutup!"

"First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women." - Homer Simpson.


-Pete

*Homer in Hell*
Satan: so you like donuts ehh!??? how about all the donuts you can eat!!??
Homer: woohoo! (scene of homer eating all the donuts)
Homer: *munching sound* more!

*some episode*
(burning robot coming out the door)
Robot: why!? why was i programmed to feel pain!!?

*some episode
there's a chess game where all the pieces are human
King piece: wait! don't leave me unprotected!
(all the other pieces proceed to beat him up)

lolz ok im probably the only one who finds those funny... hehe

___________________
coooooooooooooooocaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaine

X-file agent: Im just goin to ask you some simple 'yes' or 'no' answer questions. Do you understand?

Homer: ......Yes

Lie detector machine explodes

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.......................................

The Canyenero Song is quality

how about these

(scene in class room)
Lisa is staring outside looking at Nelson. Everyone shouts "Lisa likes Nelson" Millhouse says "No she doesn't" Everyone shouts "Millhouse likes Lisa" Jeanne says "No he doesn't" Everyone shouts "Jeanne likes Millhouse" Teacher gets mad and screams "NO ONE likes Millhouse.

----

Mr Burns is dating this young chick who happens to be Snake's ex. Homer is tagging along making sure everything goes smooth. Anyways they are back at the mansion and Mr. Burns is going to have sex (lol) with the chick right. Homer is all like can you. Mr Burns injects himself with this aphrodisiac and goes in to get laid. Homer's dumb injects himself with the rest. He rushes back home picks up Marge and takes her to bed. After the sex Marge is all like "Homer that was amazing. Do you think the kids heard us," all worried. They show bart, lisa and maggie just staring at the ceiling like OK what was that. Then Flanders is in bed awake also starring at the ceiling. He is all like "Wow."

funny as shit. keep them coming.

episode where homer fixes the toaster and turns it into a time machine or sumthin.... (skips to a scene where the simpsons are ritch and patti and selma are dead)
Homer: marge, may i have a donut please
Marge: donut?? what's a donut?
Homer: ahhhhhhhhhh! (gets the hell outta that dimension)

___________________
coooooooooooooooocaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaine

quote:

Originally posted by Fush X-file agent: Im just goin to ask you some simple 'yes' or 'no' answer questions. Do you understand? Homer: ......Yes Lie detector machine explodes

rotflmao. genious.

This is from one of the halloween specials

Homer: No TV and no beer make homer something something

Marge: Go crazy

Homer: Don't mind if I do (Freaks out)

and this is also later in the same special

Homer chops through the door with an axe and yells David Letterman

Grandpa: Hi David, I'm grandpa