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Yea, Kristiansand is a 5 hour drive to Oslo.
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Having no friends left in Kristiansand is not actually a bad thing. You can use this time to withdraw a bit from social life and work on yourself for a LITTLE while. You said you had some mood changes and was often depressed, didn't you? Well, work on this. Do stuff you like.
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Yup, in fact I was the one who pulled all the plugs on my previous friends intentionally, since I never got along with them or anybody else I tried to get along with for the last 3-4 years, but that's another story.
I've been doing a lot of travelling in order to experience the music I love, which I've gained many amazing experiences from. So I am in the process of doing what I want to myself, but unfortunately it doesn't help much when I get back home to my usual misery. I honestly believe that I don't show my depression much in real life though, as I've never had any comments on it whatsoever. For the very same reason I believe that my looks aren't anything special since noone ever compliments me or notices me due to my looks either.
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As for courting, it really depends on how you're doing it. If you look too desperate, doing far more than what the girl expects from blokes (remember girls are usually insecure and often have low self-steem), or if you're too slow, you're automatically out. Confidence is also the key: self-pitty will turn you into a cute boy, not in a potential lover.
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Good point, I know the first few times I tried it I obv overdid it wayyyy too much, but after that I think my overall bad rep + the fact that I'm not really popular or particularly good looking has pretty much burned all my bridges when it comes to getting any girlfriends around my city. It's a long story I don't want to go through again, but that's pretty much what has happened.
And like I said, the times I have succeeded in getting close to a girl while playing it cool and capturing her interest, it all ended up with me turning into her venting wall while she went off with others for everything else. This has happened several times and I'm so sick and tired of it, which again makes me draw the conclusion that I'm either not good looking enough to evoke sexual interest in girls, or I'm just suffering from the nice guy-syndrome. So although it isn't the smartest choice, I've decided to not make any effort whatsoever until a girl actually shows some interest in me on her own. Although the chance that it happens is small, at least the risk for making an ass of myself again is a lot smaller.
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Looks aren't that much important, as you know. All you need is to have that little something to make you different (ie: ever noticed girls fancy blokes who have the spotlight?). Impress her. I've had girls liking me because I speak many languages, because I play the saxophone, because I knew how to entertain them... ie, you can't be "just another one". You said you're the "odd" one, didn't you? This is the good part, all you need is to attract (good) attention to this peculiar side of yours. Most girls know I'm a lot into electronic music, and when I speak about it, I make it sound like the world's eigth wonder, and they seem to like the passionate feeling I have for it. Being well with yourself makes her well with her self, and once she's confortable, you're halfway through 
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Unfortunately all my qualities are no good in the social circuit I'm currently in. Noone likes EDM around here, and that I can speak german fluently just gives me an edge intellectually, and that isn't enough around here, at least that's my impression. The fact that I'm the odd one out is not a good thing around here either, because the effect is that people shun you rather than take interest in you out of curiosity. In my experience that's a general attitude problem around here, and I'm left to suffer for it. Add the fact that I have no stunning looks to support me, and things look very bleak 
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Also, if you're looking for a girlfriend, as long as I've noticed, you're already wrong. This sort of thing is supposed to flow naturally (have you ever actually "looked for friends"?).
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Trust me, I gave up looking for GFs ages ago, since I realized that all it gave me was frustration and humiliation. All the bad experiences I've had has prolly put me off of those kind of things for good.
But like I said, hopefully things will change for the better when I get the hell out of here.
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"Wenn du dich zum Untergrund zählst, reicht es nicht, es nur zu sagen. Du musst auch viel graben, um es zu werden."
Last edited by Sand Leaper on Mar-24-2004 at 11:47
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