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| quote: | Originally posted by gummybear
lol....hey, i like your take on it..at least your not coming off like you're personally offended....you may not approve of it but you're not letting this shit ruin your day..in the end..it's pretty entertaining and soooooooo inconsequential.....that's all i'm sayin.. |
personally offended??? because one guy who i never met fucked with another guy that i never met?? nah, thats not me, i just wanna put in my 2 cents cause everybody else did.
last time i got personally offended was when i took this girl (that i really, really liked) for a dinner. i wanted to impress her so i shaved, cleaned my car, made a reservations in a fancy restaurant...heck, i even took a shower !!
so we get there and im being a perfect gentleman you know, opening the doors for her, pulling out her chair, standing up when she goes to the washroom... whole nine yards. then the waiter came to take our orders and she said :
"i will have a greek sallad, no feta"
i looked at her and she said, smiling "oooh i gotta watch what i eat". ok, i know girls are freaks when it comes to being fat (even though she was hotter than a bowl of fuck) so i just said something along the lines "you're crazy, blah blah" and we laughed about it and i ordered a HUGE steak (well done) with garlic mashed potatoes on a side and a gravy. cause i loooove that shit.
now, we're having a great night, she's drinking her merlot and i'm pounding down my heinikens. i'm throwing my best jokes left and right,i'm being funny, understanding, caring, listening to her problems, questions, rants.... and she's loving it. she's laughing, she's telling me things that "nobody else knows about", she plays with her hair, touching my hand, you know, all those little signs that night is going perfectly.
and then the food came.
five minutes into it she asks me "oh would you like some of my sallad" to which i reply "no thanks" even though i was really itching to say " no thanks, thats food that MY food eats to become juicy, fatty and oh...my...god yummy". but i didn't because i didn't want her to freak out on my typical balkan behaviour.
then she asks me if she can have some of my garlic mashed potatoes and when she does, she goes into this "OH MY FUCKING GOD, that the best mashed potatoes i ever tried in my life". "No shit it's the best mashed potatoes you ever tried in your life, for the price i'm paying for, it better be the best goddamned mashed potatoes. E-V-E-R" came to mind but i didnt say a word. i smiled and said "you should try the steak then", cut a big, juicy piece and put it in her mouth.
jesus christ, you should've seen her. OOOOH's and AAAAH's and MMMMMMMM's... it was like i put some kind of concetraded orgasm in her mouth, not just a piece of steak (even though i gotta admit, that was a motherfucking good steak). she liked it so much that i asked her if she wanted to order it and she said something along the lines of " no. no no no. NO, i cant. no!!!! NO!!! Miki.... NO! sallad is ok. yes, im sure. no. hahahaha NO!"
look, i'm a simple man, i was tought that NO means NO and i live by it. but she kep eyeballing this teak and make iffy faces whilst eating her salad....
and then she said it. "can i have half of your steak, please?"
oooooh, i flipped! like, WHOA !!
and that was the last time i got personally offended.
if you like that you should hear my story about how i got insulted last time. now that's a funny one.
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i wanna wipe my ass with mona lisa !!!
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