apparently taliban officials are saying he's not dead!

osnap conspiracy

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Rumor 1: Chuck Norris killed Osama. While plausible that Chuck Norris could swiftly dispatch with Al Qaeda's senior citizen in chief, the alleged means of death just isn't Chuck's style. A bullet to the dome? No way. If it isn't a roundhouse kick to the chops, it isn't Chuck.

Rumor 2: Apple is caught spying on consumers; Bin Laden caught one week later. Sometimes, a coincidence is just a coincidence. Then again, Steve Jobs is one crafty fellow. But nah...this one is unlikely. Bin Laden just isn't an Apple kind of guy. He has Windows Vista written all over his forehead.

Rumor 3: Checking into a kebab stand on foursquare got Osama killed. This one was totally false. He never checked in to the kebab stand; Bin Laden was, however, mayor of the local dialysis clinic.

Rumor 4: Osama will he be back...after all, they buried Megatron at sea, too. This one may take some time to disprove. Megatron was buried at sea and he came back as a tank, with a vengeance. What if Osama does the same thing, and comes back as some kind of immortal suicide-bomber? We better hope Jack Bauer isn't on vacation...

Rumor 5: Toby Keith has already written two songs about Bin Laden's death. This one is actually probably true. You know he knocked out at least one patriotic jingle while Obama was speaking.

Rumor 6: Osama isn't dead; he's recording an album with Tupac. OK, they found Osama and killed him. Can we please move along and catch the guys who gunned down the world's best rapper on the Las Vegas strip after a Mike Tyson fight. There had to be tens of thousands of witnesses, and no one saw anything? Meanwhile, we track down Bin Laden in a hotel in the middle of a country we're not *technically* supposed to be fighting in?

Rumor 7: Snape killed Dumbledo...sorry, wrong meme.

Rumor 8: Jason Bourne shot Bin Laden. Unfortunately, no. This kill was all Navy Seals. Bourne was a CIA operative. Right team, wrong guys.

Rumor 9: Since Trump demanded Obama's birth certificate, Obama demanded Osama's death certificate. One-ups-manship is not new to the political arena. Candidates used to brag about war wounds or service when others got deferments. Since major contenders for both political parties have sat out the wars of their lifetimes, the best they can do is measure each other via proxy; they chose these topics to keep it g-rated.

Rumor 10: ABC cancels soaps; osama gives up. Of all the plausible rumors, this is the most believeable. After ten years of hiding indoors and watching tv, the bearded one had to be addicted to daytime tv. It can't be a coincidence that, as soon as ABC cancels its long-running soaps, we just “happen” to catch him. It sounds more like he turned himself in.

Read more: http://www.benzinga.com/news/events...h#ixzz1LE5vC5rR

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Last edited by Moral Hazard on Apr-26-2011 at 07:48

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Originally posted by EarnYourKeep apparently taliban officials are saying he's not dead! osnap conspiracy

so is anti-war Lefty darling Cindy Sheehan:

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I am sorry, but if you believe the newest death of OBL, you’re stupid. Just think to yourself–they paraded Saddam’s dead sons around to prove they were dead–why do you suppose they hastily buried this version of OBL at sea? This lying, murderous Empire can only exist with your brainwashed consent–just put your flags away and THINK!

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Originally posted by EarnYourKeep apparently taliban officials are saying he's not dead! osnap conspiracy

They matched DNA with the body they recovered after they killed him. Pretty sure they're full of shit.

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Originally posted by The17sss so is anti-war Lefty darling Cindy Sheehan:

I dunno why we can't all just get along. I mean, people change, you know?

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Originally posted by ziptnf I dunno why we can't all just get along. I mean, people change, you know?

Don't step to Caitlin!

How long was it between Death and DNA analysis being announced? Just out of curiosity as PCRs for DNA analysis take about 6 hours to run.

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Originally posted by clay do they have anything to compare the DNA with? you cant just sample a dude and the computer like "its Osama1, i promise"

Could do it from blood of sons and daughters.

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Osama Bin Laden has been proclaimed dead from a gunshot wound to the head. But in today's photoshopping era, the world demands more proof--a DNA test to identify the body is actually him. Back in late 2001, when the allied offensive against Al Qaeda in Afghanistan was still in its early days and attention was concentrated on the Tora Bora region where Bin Laden and his associates were reported to be hiding, the U.S. and other forces dropped tons of high explosives into the area--including the BLU-82 Daisy Cutter bomb (a high-explosives giant that's also known as "the poor man's nuclear bomb"). When ground forces penetrated into the zones after the air assaults, they found plenty of bodies...but faced a difficult task: How to tell if one of them was Osama? Soldiers collected and tagged body fragments, then sent them off to be analyzed back in the U.S. The FBI's labs compared the evidence to DNA samples acquired as "swabs" from Bin Laden's family members. Today, something very similar is going on to prove the body dumped at sea really was Bin Laden. DNA matching (also known as genetic fingerprinting) is different to full DNA sequencing--a long drawn out process that takes time, technology, and money to work out the absolute list of hundreds of millions of nucleotides, the famous G, T, C, A pattern that make up your genetic identity. Over 99.9% of everyone's DNA sequence is the same, but that still leaves millions of bits of code that are unique to you. You share some of this unique code with your parents and siblings (and actually all of it if you're an identical twin), but most of it is yours and yours alone--and this is where DNA matching works. It involves breaking your DNA down in a number of different ways and looking for a short list of what's called loci--tell-tale markers that reveal where specific genes are located. The list from a test sample (from, say, a crime scene) is compared against the list from a reference sample obtained from your person--if the lists match, there's an incredibly high statistical probability that the two DNA samples come from the same person. In Osama's case, the DNA tests don't necessarily involve a reference sample from the man himself (presumably because it's hard to find), but reportedly from his sister who died in Boston recently. Tissue from her body was used to create an extensive reference DNA fingerprint. Because your parents give you some of their DNA, they also give your siblings some of the same genetic code--which is why sibling DNA tests work. They sometimes concentrate on ares of the genome called "junk DNA" which serves no biological function but still gets passed along to offspring. By testing for repeat strands of DNA code in these areas, it's possible to work out if two individuals are related as siblings. Typical lab-based DNA matching tests like this can take up to 14 days; they're painstaking and need to be repeated several times to ensure the sample's not contaminated from any other DNA sources. But that's not necessarily the only way to do these tests: Late in 2010, a University of Arizona team presented research on a machine that can do the analysis in just two hours in a largely automated way. It's possible that knowing they were engaged on a mission to capture Bin Laden, U.S. Forces arranged for access to a machine like this to be on quick alert--probably for flying blood, cheek cells, and other samples taken from the body to the lab for expedited analysis. But here's the thing: DNA matching isn't an exact science, and sibling matching is slightly more inexact. It all comes down to a probability, with a statement like "there's a one in one quadrillion chance this isn't the same person in both DNA samples." In other words: conspiracy theorists still have something to talk about.

http://www.fastcompany.com/1751030/how-a-dna-identity-test-on-osama-bin-laden-works

It was reported that the DNA tests were 99.9% accurate, so there's a very low chance that it's not him.

Plus there's this picture: (NSFW)
http://img805.**************/img805/...madeadphoto.jpg

Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, etc.

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Originally posted by clay do they have anything to compare the DNA with? you cant just sample a dude and the computer like "its Osama1, i promise"

Yes huh they can!

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