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| quote: | Originally posted by naesean3
1) The different hetero and homo modes of maleness are not, of course, biologically fixed.
2) Conversely, as gay men grow in self-esteem and confidence - ceasing to see themselves as passive victims of homophobia and as having failed the test of manliness - some may embrace a more assertive form of male behavior.
3)Whether consciously or not, gay men redefine what it means to be a man. We show that maleness need not involve machismo.
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1) I have read probably a hundred psychology books and still don't know the answer. I guess I'm gay because even though I have slept with, and even loved different women, I never did have the feelings that are true love, the feeling that leads you to wan't to spend the rest of your life with someone. Gayness has been observed in all wild primates, our ancesters, so there is a biological component. I also think there is a range of sexuality, especially considering how many supposedly "straight" men have hit on me, a few times even with their girlfriend right there. I enjoy it because it feeds my ego, but so far I've only had one male sexual partner.
2) I don't feel any less man because I'm gay, as I get the impression you don't either. While there are some real flammers in DC/Balt. ( who I feel embarrassed by - I guess that's the little bit of insecurity left in me ), there are unfortunately alot of gay men here that have overcompensated for trying to prove their masculinity by taking steroids. My guess is that Toronto is no different. I see some gay people act overly "fake" deliberately effeminate & bitchy and sometimes I wonder if they are just filling a stereotype put on them by straight society, or if they are actually silly enough to believe that by shocking people they will somehow trigger acceptence. I personally won't hang out with anyone who I feel isn't being themself.
3) On the Machismo topic, that word can also mean sexual immaturity.
Several people gaybashing on this forum sound just like myself before I decided to be honest with myself & everyone else, I guess that would make us the meaning of "machismo" - trying to prove your masculinity. Personally, I think alot of people on this forum have lied about their own sexuality considering how threatened they get by gay people. I guess they are trying to assert that "If I show people I hate Gays then People May Think I'm Straight". We'll someone I knew just after high school, who was one of the biggest gay bashers I've met, ended up trying to proposition me while he was very drunk. After I refused, our friendship ended due to embarrasment on both of us. I don't know what he's doing now, but I hope he feels secure about himself now, and I really feel sorry for the woman he had pregnant.
After that incident I had no respect for that former friend ever again. I guess his reactions are the result of living in a community where if someone was openly gay they would probably get beat up. Unfortunately he probably still lives there, and suffers with severe depression. I also know 2 other people in the Marines who didn't know I was gay several years ago, and they used to say alot of homophobic shit. Both of them after finding out me & my partners real sexuality, tried to make a pass at him, one of them I think had a crush on me also. I guess the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy works real well. Those friendships quickly ended.
I also knew a guy and a girl at the club who were actually friends, and pretended they were a straight couple, and continued to have group sex & gay sex. shhhhh
they don't know people told me about it. I never told them I was gay,
I had too much fun watching their show, which alot of people bought.
It seems the level of sexual maturity shows alot of people here are uncomfortable with sexuality especially their own. They probably know very little about gay people and have probably never checked a book out of the library about it - they are probably too embarrassed. As for the people here that had the most mature discussions, you are probably very well adjusted, and feel good about yourselves whether you are straight or gay.
There is a large gay electronic music club here in DC called Velvet Nations and I know alot of people that go there when major DJ's spin there, and are 100% straight, and go there with their woman as well, and don't feel the least bit uncomfortable. They enjoy laughing at ugly people with their shirts off, but otherwise go there to enjoy the music. That there proves to me that they're not gay. IF SOMEONE IS UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND GAY PEOPLE AND CAN'T GIVE AN INTELLIGENT EXPLANATION AS TO WHY - THEY ARE GAY.
REASONS PEOPLE DISCRIMINATE AGAINST GAYS
- They are threatened by something they despise in themselves
- Religious fanaticism
- Child Abuse ( by people that should be in jail )
- Ignorance taught by parents or family members
___________________
CORRUPTION IS NOT A CHRISTIAN VALUE
Your rulers are rebels, friends with thieves
They all love bribes and run after gifts
They never defend orphans
They dont notice the widows pleas
Vote Christian! Vote Democrat!
It's not "God is on our side"
It's "what can we do to be on God's" side
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@ Jay.. you would ask this too... 
