When I was in middle school, my best friend and I were babysitting her sister’s kid (she was like 3). So we’re in her room listening to music and goofing around when we realized, "Where’s Crystal"? So we go out and find her in the bathroom fingerpainting with her own shit on the toilet!!! We were like, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE U DOING"!! My friend sort of lost it and was screaming at her and threw her in the shower and we hosed her down. She was crying so hard, I felt bad. She didn't realize what she was doing.

We were kinda laughing too, it was horrible. We were like, "Man we are going to tell ALL her boyfriends this story when she’s older".

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My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.

quote:

Originally posted by notelfreak man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

Cant say i got any funny stories involving poop. I woke up with the squirts once thats about it.

quote:

Originally posted by Marcy Cant say i got any funny stories involving poop. I woke up with the squirts once thats about it.

See, if you would have sneezed and squirted all over yourself or better yet... a naked bed partner... THAT would be funny.

Gross... but funny.

So i'm 6yrs old and living in a 3rd world country.

I had body guards dressed in military clothing carrying m-16 machine guns...


Alright- So im playing with my next door neighbors and I felt the urge to shit...and when you're 6yrs old you do the obvious...you put your hand on your asshole and run like mad!

So I run out of my neighbors house- hands on asshole

passed my body guard- with hands on asshole

Run up the drive way- yep- with hands on asshole.

and i felt it coming out...i was dying there...but lo, twas alright! I had my hand on my asshole.

So i get to the front door....try to open it...and....IT'S LOCKED!

At that moment I could only do what any frantic 6yr old in need of taking a shit while his hand is on his asshole would do...

I crapped in my shorts....and back then I didnt wear underwear, so it slides down my leg...

I kinda slink it off....meanwhile I hear some noise, like walking coming near.

I HIDE behind a tree

my body guard walks up to the front door...looks around.... then looks down to see a nice pile of shit waiting for him.

then he walked away.


I can only imagine his thoughts of what he saw 1. kid running with hand on his asshole. 2. pile of shit in front of door.

LMAO

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quote:

Funniest story involving... POOP.

Really dragging the bottom of the barrel for that topic.....

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Originally posted by smallSHEEP Really dragging the bottom of the barrel for that topic.....

Eh. It's not THAT bad of a topic. True, it was late and I was multi-tasking... but still. You gotta admit. Shit mishaps can be very entertaining stories.

I remember in grade 1 one of my classmates was stuck in the toilet trying to shit...he actually started screaming until the school's doctor and some nurses arrived to help the guy...it turned out that the guy was trying so hard to shit but couldnt...and appartently the poo was stuck in his arsehole...half of it inside and half outside!