quote:

Originally posted by Miss Proximus Just out of curiosity to all of you: why should he be the one to have the ultimate decision?

It isn't like he has the ultimate decision because obviously he doesn't. She could just leave him and go have an abortion. I am a woman and I still think that is fucked up. I have seen it happen to a male friend of mine. He was so devastated that he was never the same again. They too were married. He was so excited that they were going to have a baby. Yes he was scared, but he was excited. She decided she wasn't ready and went and had an abortion. Of course they are divorced now. He felt violated and rightfully so. It was like saying "I love you, but not enough to have a child with you". It doesn't matter how stupid that may sound to you...that is how he felt. If she didn't want to have children "right then" she should have taken the necessary precautions to prevent it. It shouldn't be something that you are thinking about after the fact. Enferno and his wife weren't two single people just fucking around. They are married. When you get married you have made a vow to that other person. Your lives have joined as one. He has just as much rights to have that baby. She isn't a child and she knew damn well what she was doing each time they had sex. I'm sorry but saying that now just isn't a good time just doesn't fly with me. I am not trying to take sides here, but if I had to I would definitely be on Enferno's side. Sorry to state the obvious, but how the hell does your relationship recover after something like this?

Personally I feel it is mostly the womans choice just because what the woman would have to deal with compared to the father. Months of hardship for the woman, morning sickness, mood swings, getting fatter, labor, no drinking, no smoking, no caffinee possibly having to quit your job, and for the father... ummm.... hmm... can't think of what the father would go through.

___________________
Raggastep

this really just pisses me off for some reason. a woman whom u love with all your heart and soul. you are doing the honorable thing. you have a good job, a house, and are married, then come to kids. how many people knock up chicks and leave. she should be grateful you are so committed and are doing everything right.

like amber said tho i don't see how you can recover. you just found out what kind of woman she really is. obvious not the one who you think you married.

___________________


1776

quote:

Originally posted by neovalkyr Personally I feel it is mostly the womans choice just because what the woman would have to deal with compared to the father. Months of hardship for the woman, morning sickness, mood swings, getting fatter, labor, no drinking, no smoking, no caffinee , and for the father... ummm.... hmm... can't think of what the father would go through.

how about everything you listed? the father goes through that too. or at least any supportive father would. Help her through her morning sickness, understand her mood swings, help her realize her weight gain is beautiful, hold her hand during labor, no drinking or smoking to support her.

so yeah your wrong

___________________


1776

the difference is that the father could take a break from that when he wants to.

___________________
Raggastep

My suggestion would be to grow a uterus and offer to carry the baby for her. Failing that, my next suggestion is to shut it before she dumps your bitching ass.

quote:

Originally posted by enferno doesn't think we are ready. we have plenty of money coming in, a house, i work full time and could support us easily . . i just don't understand

hate to state the obvious here, but...

maybe she's trying to hide something. like, it's not yours. hopefully that's not the case, but y'know.

___________________
You're like a sight for sore eyes, lyrical and gentle, borderlining sentimental...

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter My suggestion would be to grow a uterus and offer to carry the baby for her. Failing that, my next suggestion is to shut it before she dumps your bitching ass.

no man dont shut it...you wear the fuckin pants..you shouldnt even be posting this on ta...u should be out doing something irrational like threatening to kick her ass.. or better out getting an antiabortion rally set up outside ur house

quote:

Originally posted by Abject Silver hate to state the obvious here, but... maybe she's trying to hide something. like, it's not yours. hopefully that's not the case, but y'know.

This is true. When someone wants to cheat they will find a way. Busted a couple at lunch time once. One of them was married.

I'm not saying this is the case with enferno's situation, but you can't exactly rule it out either.

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter My suggestion would be to grow a uterus and offer to carry the baby for her. Failing that, my next suggestion is to shut it before she dumps your bitching ass.

You have gotta be kidding! Giving this guy shit for expressing a fucked up situation and trying to get some feedback. It is healthy to discuss things with people and, sometimes, more so with people you don't know. Give him a break and leave if you don't like it.

___________________
Old Norsk Sessions every 4th Monday from 4-6pm EST on Digitally Imported Radio (Progressive Station), and 7pm CET on Trance.fm every 1st Saturday

Now I'm officially freaked out about marriage...

I hope something works out.

___________________

quote:

Originally posted by ******** Seplling don't demonstrate intelligence and educatoin - knowing does.